Negaraku

Reading YB Lim Kit Siang's blog over the last few errr... months has certainly evoked some emotions on my part. I never intended to blog on such issues, and as I'm writing this, a part of me still wonders about the point (or futility) of blogging about this. But anyways.

Reading his blog, makes for depressing stuff, especially if you're Malaysian and you care. I generally regard Mr. Lim's blog a more credible source than that of certain blogs/sites, where there's lots of smoke instead of fire. Generally each time I read an article on his blog, a part of me screams out and says that it can't be that bad. That we are still OK.

What makes it more disheartening is usually the comments made by other readers of the blog. In my perception, they appear to be most, err, lets say cynical and critical. And if you continue to read the comments on other sites such as say, MalaysiaToday, its even worst. How people's minds are so easily manipulated according to what the writer writes. Condemnation after condemnation of our country ensues by the very same people who make their living in there. But since I'm writing this from the comfort (which is not much, its bleeding cold) of my room in London, I guess I'm in no position to judge.

Anyways, back to the issue. Many people I know, mainly Chinese Malaysians, complain about the existence of discrimination back home. Saying that this doesn't exist, would be denying the truth at hand. Hence, most of them come to the conclusion that it's no point going back to Malaysia, we'll live better overseas, better pay, we appreciated more etc. I once read on a friend's blog a statement that said, "Our forefathers left their own country in search of a better life. And its only natural if we do the same." Which is true. But not the whole truth.

When I consider my position, I am indeed relatively blessed. With my education sponsored, a job waiting for me back home, I am very well off compared to some of my peers. Hence I do sympathize with them, as they are people who are generally much more intelligent, talented and capable that I am, not getting the opportunities that their abilities would "deserve". Better phrased, not getting the same opportunities back home as those that they would get elsewhere.

But yet at the same time, we non-bumis have this terrible siege mentality mindset. While there are hundreds and thousands of endless arguments to support that statement that will go on till the end of time, the truth is, most of us never felt a proper sense of belonging for our home, neither have we made the effort to do that (of which you may beg to differ, but this is my perception). We never say anything good about our country, we blame everybody else for everything, and we diss our own country at generally every opportunity.

More importantly, what now?

I believe that most of us have to come to terms that Malaysia will only get better if and only if we make the effort to make it better. Of course, relatively there are better opportunities elsewhere, there will always be. But if we don't fight for what we love and all that is good, then who will? The faults, the hypocrisy, all the bad things are there, but within those constraints, let's fix it, let's make it what we know it can be.

Bak kata pepatah Melayu,

Hujan batu di negeri sendiri, hujan emas di negeri orang; lebih baik di negeri sendiri.

Maybe I'm naive, or haven't-eaten-enough-salt, but home is where the heart is, and home is where we belong, and home is what we fight for.