I don't know what to write

I remember there was this time when I could just start to blog about anything anytime.

Right now, I'm stuck -_-"

Time to sleep anyways. I blame work for the lack of inspiration.

Facebook Part II

After two weeks of insane facebook-ing i.e. throwing sheep, buying drinks, writing on walls, sending pandas to seduce other people; I think its fair enough to say I've had my fair share of it.

*throws sheep*

Anyways, been working for slightly more than a month now; and it's been a pretty good learning experience. The first thing I found out that while whatever I learned in uni is very much directly applicable to whatever I've been doing, it's also fair to say that its not sufficient enough, which also means A LOT OF PAIN AND SUFFERING when you're sitting down there trying to figure out what other more experienced and qualified people have done.

So far most people have asked me what do I actually do for a job, so instead of the very general but not so true answer of "math", I shall take the time to elaborate a little bit more.

My job - working with Bank Negara Malaysia - basically revolves around regulatory and supervisory work, specifically towards the insurance industry in Malaysia. In practical terms this means reading a lot of reports and checking other ppl's work, and giving them a good spanking if they don't do it properly (note: the term spanking is intended to be metaphorical, so for those of you who were thinking otherwise, errrrr....we'll just leave it at there). It's basically a 9-5 deskjob (well actually 830 to 530), so I'm pretty cool with that.

It also suddenly dawned on me that I will have to be studying (again!!! *@#4%@%*) pretty soon, when the actuarial exams begin. Sigh. Moral of the story to all kids out there: Do some research before you decide on what you want to study. Or what you don't want.

To compound matters, the inevitable arrival of the PS2 has already made the whole studying-while-you-work-which-we-know-is-impossible even more ridiculous. But hey, somebody needs to save the world, right?

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On more trivial matters, it's been an incredible start for Arsenal fans! Whoooooo! But I hardly have the chance to catch the matches nowadays (sigh). Condolences to all Chelsea fans on the loss of Jose Mourinho. He's a great coach no doubt.

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Things in church have begun to pick up, rather, they've always been up, just that I've been picked in to the flow a bit more. So here's to a event filled life. *drinks redbull*

It's been so long since I last blogged properly it feels like I'm having writer's/blogger's block. Ughh.

Time to wake Ding up and go pay the bills.

Facebook

Due to intense diplomatic pressure (its always easier when you blame people), I've finally succumbed to Facebook.

TAKE ME NOW!! FACEBOOK!!! TAKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Night Out @ AF Practice Session

So I was out last night at Altered Frequency's band practice session, being the kepo that I am. It was good fun to meet up with bass master guru DG again, and even more fun to gawk at Kysern's amazing guitar tone, lines, chops, licks err... in short... guitar playing.

Uber.

I. Need. To. Practice. More. So hooray for band practice tonight.

I was asking Kysern how does he does he find the time to practice with work and all that.
"Well...no social life loh."

So it's goodbye social life. So much for the rock star glamour. This whole actuary playing guitar thing isn't really working out.


We have a spanking new PS2 in the house with 10 different games and I haven't even touched it yet. Lunacy I tell you.

Selamat Menyambut Ulangtahun Merdeka ke-50!

I wanna blog, but no time.

So in the likely event that I won't get to blog before Friday, I'd like to wish my readers (if there are any left) a very happy 50th independence day celebration!

Transformers!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!!

TRANSFORMERS IS SOOOOOO SOOOOO GOODDDD!!!

*looks longingly at dad's proton waja hoping it will transform*

Biawak alert

HOLY COW I'VE JUST SEEN THE LARGEST BIAWAK IN MY LIFE!!!!

Man that thing was huge. And when me and my brother were trying to prod it out from behind the shoe cabinet, it made a dash AT us (me, actually, since my brother ran off), until I smacked it in the head with a broom i was holding. Fortunately for me, it ran off in to some neighbour's bush.

Traumatised. What if it runs in the house and attacks me when i'm sleeping tonight.

ARRRGHHHH.

WHERE'S THE RUKUN TETANGGA WHEN YOU NEED THEM! I DEMAND NIGHT PATROLS!

502 words

I was asked by a friend to write an article (which if was good enough, would be published in the papers) on well, something to do with patriotism, but i think i sort of missed the deadline. So rather than let my 430am writings go to waste, I'll just deposit them here:

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Because Home Is Where the Heart Is

“Eh, why-lah don’t want to work in London? Makes sense what…better pay, better working environment, better expertise and support….”

To be honest, I wonder too at times. Reading our local papers, blogs, talking to various people, occasionally one feels the desire to run away from all the sadness and grief that always seems to steal the headlines; violent crimes, corruption, incompetence, politics, so on and so forth. Escapism, a friend once termed it.

But you see, the problem with running is that it never made the difference.

Three years overseas thought me a lot about patriotism. We are too quick to criticize, too quick to give up, too pessimistic to fight for ideals, too slow to put our hands to the plough when it really matters, too blinded to see that there are plenty of things worth fighting for.

Yet I can relate to the frustrations of others. Reality dictates that there are places out there which your average Malaysian will be better off living at. Fortunately, patriotism is not about moving out when things don’t go right and swearing your allegiance to whoever pays you the most. Patriotism, at least as I understand it, is acknowledging that there are fault lines which can’t be covered up. More importantly, it also means taking the responsibility to make the wrong things right. It’s about being the difference.

This is Malaysia. The land we call home. We are Malaysia. The people who feel sad when our badminton doubles lose out on the gold medal. The people who sit by the teh-tarik stall, eat nasi lemak, complain about reduced government petrol subsidies, buy illegal DVDs, all at the same time. The people who come together and celebrate Hari Raya, Chinese New Year, Deepavali, regardless of race. The people who complain loudly about the state of our national football team all the time, but deep down inside really want to see them do well. The good, bad and ugly.

No, we’re not perfect. Far from it. Which is all the more reason for us to stand up and be counted. We need to stop sitting by the sidelines waiting for someone else to do the work. We need to fight to preserve what is good and what is right. We need to lose that “tidak apa” attitude, because really, when you think about it, it does matter. Every little bit, every single person. There will always be people who seek to undermine, to steal, kill and destroy for their own gain; but if we run away, lose hope and despair, then we lose everything.

50 years of independence may have passed, but we have thousands of years of history ahead of us to be made. It’s time to lose the shades of Malay, Chinese, Indian or “dan lain-lain” and put our hands together. It’s time to be Malaysia.

So, why not work in London? It’s simple. Because home is where the heart is. Really, I never bluff you one.

Jet lagggg

Its 230 am, and all I feel is hungry cos its supposed to be dinner time.

My body is confused.

So long, farewell.

So it's goodbye to 3 years in London.

Thanks to all the friends who were family. You guys made life here alive.

Dover and Calais Trip

So, we made a trip to Dover and Calais (in France) on a whim sometime back, and here are the pics.

Sometimes life deals us a cruel blow and leaves us out of the picture, even though we're posing hard. Sorry Daniel Nee aka CB

And because of that, the next few pictures will feature him heavily :P

The man himself, CB aka Miri Beng

Upacara penyampaian coklat Toblerone terbesar di dunia.

CB doing his thing with the ladies.

And again.

And again. Wait, that's me. Not a lady. Dude looks like a lady maybe, but not a lady.

The daniel's and the ladies.

Ladies aka Yiing Ting and Caryn.

I was apparently sad about the size of my oyster.

CB reflecting on the ego damaging first picture.

On board the ferry to Calais.

Approaching Calais.

Ugh. Ok lah malas to post more already.

I'll be home on Wednesday!!!!

...which also made me realize that this is goodbye to the fabulously good internet connection that I have over here in the UK, and "welcome home" from streamyx.

So any uploading of photos to this blog should be done NAUUUUUUUUU! without anymore procrastination (not to mention streaming and watching all the dvd quality movies that I can).

Anyways, here's some pictures from my Porto holiday back in January after my first sem finals, together with Caryn and Alvin.

Porto is a port (a sweet kind of wine) producing city, so it wasn't particularly scenic. But then again, with 3 very good looking ppl (+ shameless) armed with 3 cameras, there's no need for it either :P

We started posing once we got on the plane. No let up I tell you.

Self made magnum ad.

The scenic bit.

Me and Alvin sharing an affectionate moment.

Alvin & Caryn, with the Atlantic ocean as the backdrop.

Being statistics students interested in finding out the effects of wine on the human body, we took large samples of wine and discovered that 99% of the time your tongue will change colour after that. Like this picture.

For some reason, I look like I'm about to collapse and start foaming at the mouth.

Alvin touching a BIG wine (port) vat.

Got bored of walking, so decided to pose.

And again.

Hurrah for AOL broadband!

The Rain in Spain.. err.

And sooooooooooooooooooooooo,

I'm back from my money blowing holidays, the recent excursion being the island of Mallorca in Spain. What I really enjoyed about this trip was that it was a proper holiday, unlike the one where I brought my parents around europe, that's just a trip, not a holiday :P

Anyways, here's some pictures.

Bad Horsie

Caryn and Yiing Ting doing their pose.

At the beach.

Sangria (the drink, not the person)

Picture by the beach.

Reflecting on the meaning of life after mistakenly cycling on the highway.

Me and Caryn (my hair nicer) :P

Clear blue seas.

Chap fan king in Spain

I R BACK! (in london)

So shortly after the ending of my final exams, Pa and Ma came over here for their holiday, and so I was tour guide for the past 12 days.

London, Edinburgh, London, Paris, Rome, London is a sure and definite method to ensure that your wallet is sent to the very depths of hell. And I'll be off to Spain in the 11th. Goosebyes monies, goosebyes.

Anyways, I'm glad I'm back in London and my parents will be going back home to Malaysia today. Well not that I don't enjoy their company, heck I love being with them after not seeing them for so long, but playing tour guide to your parents is a bit more stressful and demanding than I expected.
Anyways I'll slowly be uploading pictures and stuff. Thought I wanted to do it now but then I happen to read (about) this book that that friend of mine wrote and, lets say, it greatly influenced me :P

Anyways.... till then

And it's over.....

Exams ended today. I was pretty excited this morning at the thought of it when I woke up, well you know, graduation and all that, but now, all I want to do is sleep.

Quite the anticlimax.

*hugs pillow*

Song of the Moment

As I'm getting totally owned/pawned/destroyed/(insert word that describes a feeling of doom) preparing for my last paper on Weds, one song particularly keeps me going:


Rescue
By Michael Gungor

You are the source of life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need you Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other name
By which I'm saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you

My heart is Yours for life
I need Your hand in mine
No one else will do
I will put my trust in You

The world has nothing for me
I will follow you

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LAST PAPER BABY YEAHHHHHHHH!

Something For All

I stole this from The Star Newspaper, but it's not really theirs anyways. But below here is a speech from a person whom I believe will be a great leader of our time, Raja Nazrin Shah, which I believe all Malaysians should take note of.

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PROSPECTS AND CHALLENGES FOR NATION BUILDING

Ladies and Gentlemen:

It is my pleasure to be here to deliver the keynote address at this Roundtable Discussion on National Unity and Development in Malaysia: Challenges and Prospects for Nation Building. I am always happy to take part in an event where there are many young informed Malaysians. I find that this is time well spent. Not only does it give me a chance to share my thoughts, but it also lets me do a bit of opinion research among the younger generation. We like to say that our youths are the future of this country, but then we proceed to ignore or marginalise them. We want our future generations to be able to think and act wisely, but then we do not give them sufficient opportunities to do so.

In my view, this is not a good way to prepare those who will take our place. If the young are to be good leaders and citizens, they must be exposed to more than just abstract concepts. Even those nation states which have failed miserably have had great political ideals. I believe that good and upright leadership must be demonstrated. It has to be both taught and observed at work. Then, those who are found to be able must be mentored by those who are capable. In this way, success can be learned and replicated. Finally, the young must be given responsibilities they can handle. They should be allowed to make mistakes along the way as part of their overall learning process. If we do these things, our actions will echo loudly into the future.

My address this morning is on the challenges and prospects of nation building, a topic that is of the greatest and gravest importance. Nation building is essential to national unity which lies at the heart of what this country was, is and will be. With the passage of time, it seems that we are starting to forget this and it is imperative that we do not. In the time available, I hope to say enough to provide some fuel for the discussions to follow. It is my earnest wish that you will gain some further perspectives on the nature of nation building and that you will also deliberate on specific actionable ways to further it in this country.

Confucius insisted that language must be properly used if things are to get done, if justice is not to go astray, and if people are not to "stand about in helpless confusion." He disapproved of those who misused words to hide their true intentions and actions. So what exactly is nation building? Not surprisingly, there are many definitions, some which differ by a little and others by quite a lot. In his book, The Making of a Nation, for example, Professor Cheah Boon Kheng defined it as "both economic progress and socio-political integration of a nation, i.e. prosperity and national unity." This captures what are hopefully the two end results of nation building, but it makes no mention of its nature and process. I prefer the more common understanding, which is that it is the use of state power across different dimensions to ensure that a country is politically stable and viable in the long term. These dimensions include ethnicity and religion.

As a brief footnote, it should be noted that nation building is a heated and even hated notion in some parts of the world. The main reasons for this are, first, that it is taking place in the midst of great domestic turmoil and, second, that it is primarily initiated and managed by foreign powers. Trying to cobble a functioning state by papering over deep social and political rifts is, of course, easier said than done. History has shown us time and again, that it is much easier to break down, rather than build up, nations.

In the case of Malaysia, nation building has occurred in generally peaceful circumstances. It was not imposed by another country. And it is undertaken mainly by collective choice rather than compulsion. The fact that we have been able to forge a nation without resorting to the rule of the gun has made us something of a rarity and a case to be studied, if not emulated. It has allowed a relatively effective system of governance to develop. Our track record at development and resolving problems such as illiteracy, poverty and poor health has been good.

There is, of course, much more that can be done. Our institutions of governance are far from perfect and quality improvements will probably occupy us for at least the next fifty years, if not longer. Nevertheless, for all the criticisms that have been made, it is only common sense that we could not have survived, let alone prosper, these last 50 years if government institutions had not been responsive or effective.

So what are the central challenges to nation building going forward? Let me speak first more generally about the world, and then move specifically to Malaysia. To my mind, there are many challenges, but the one that stands out most is that of having to balance the need for change with that of continuity. Globalisation, in particular, has unleashed sweeping economic, political, social and cultural transformations that have weakened national institutions, values and norms. It is as if all the boats on the ocean had suddenly lost their anchors, rudders and compasses overnight. Naturally, this has produced a strong reaction in the form of a desire to preserve identity, character and tradition. These are among the strongest motivations known to mankind and have been at the foreground or background of practically every conflict that has ever been waged. Add to this, a deep sense of deprivation, powerlessness and injustice, both real and imagined, and the tension between change and continuity mount greatly.

Managing change on a national level is never easy, and certainly not on the scale and speed that we are witnessing. Multi-ethnic countries have to be especially watchful, and particularly if they have a weak sense of national collective identity. In the absence of a strong binding nationalism, they are prone to polarisation and competition along ethno-religious lines. The state, which may well start out by being a relatively honest broker, can become increasingly pressured to act in ways that favour the interests of one group over another. If the pendulum swings too far in one direction, dissatisfaction and frustrations will inevitably result. These can be expressed in ways that range from passive non-cooperation to active opposition and even violent conflict. To a large extent, this has led to the fragmentation of states.

Countries need to recognise the larger macro forces at work and understand their implications. They have to engage creatively to ensure that there are sufficient investments in social capital and cohesion. They must create and capitalise on co-operative systems within societies. In recent times, it has become usual to try and place the blame for the disintegrating state of world affairs on the doorstep of religion. This is a misunderstanding of the first order. Religion is not the cause of societal dystrophy; it is the antidote. It is a social stabiliser that allows believers to reconnect to values that are fast being lost in today's ever more materialistic and self-centred world.

What does Malaysia have to do to ensure that it continues to be successful at nation building? Psychologists say that our short-term memory can only hold seven items. Let me outline seven guidelines that I think will have to be borne in mind in future national building efforts.

First, Malaysians of all races, religions, and geographic locations need to believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have a place under the Malaysian sun. Only when each citizen believes that he or she has a common home and is working towards a common destiny, will he or she make the sacrifices needed for the long haul. In Malaysia, the Federal Constitution, the Rukun Negara and Vision 2020 encapsulate the rights, hopes and aspirations of the population in a way that no other documents do. The integrity of these documents must be defended and promoted, especially the first.

Second, when we seek solutions to problems in nation building, we must be careful not to assume away problems. Nation building is required precisely because there are stark differences within society. If we all walked, talked and thought the same, it would probably not be needed. There will therefore be chauvinistic groups in this country, just as there are in others. They will fight the idea of national unity, block social change and try to be politically dominant. The existence of these groups, however, does not mean that nation building is a futile exercise. It does mean that we must be prepared to negotiate our way through and around these differences. We can, for example, create social movements that aim to enlighten and dissuade popular support being given to them.

Third, nation building requires accommodation and compromise. In our haste to be prescriptive, we should not be so idealistic that we are incapable of also being practical. We should not allow perfection to be the enemy of the good. Yes, we should seek the best solutions and expect the highest standards of performance. But we should also be prepared to sacrifice some part of our positions for the good of the whole. The virtues of pure self-interest are largely a myth. What seems to be a reality is that individuals end up worse off when they act out of self-interest, as opposed to acting in their collective group interests.

Fourth, if nation building is to be successful, enforced solutions must be avoided. Nation building is effectively rendered null and void by coercion or the threat of violence. 'Might' cannot and must not be shown to be 'right'. If solutions cannot be found within the political and social structures, there will be a strong temptation to resort to illegitimate ways and means.

Fifth, nation building occurs when society is open, tolerant and forward-looking. So important are these values that they are embedded in Vision 2020's nine strategic challenges, as are those of mature democracy, caring society and innovation. Only by being inclusive and participative can the various sectors of our society be productively engaged. It follows that all forms of extremism, chauvinism, racism and isolationism must be guarded against. They must be soundly sanctioned socially, politically and, if necessary, also legally.

Sixth, nation building is a process rather than an outcome. When Malaysia started off 50 years ago, there were no examples to study. There were no manuals to follow. Mistakes were made and, to a greater or lesser extent, lessons have been learned. While a sense of impatience is perhaps fully understandable, nation building takes place over a period of time and only with persistence. Where there is no trust, trust has to be built. Where there is no cooperative network, one has to be established. Building on layers of foundation is the only way to ensure that the process is solid and sustainable.

Seventh, the political, social and economic incentives must reward good behaviour and penalise bad. I know that this statement is virtually self-evident, but it is a fact that many countries are as likely to punish good behaviour as to reward it. After all, if there are benefits for corruption, then there is a real cost to being honest. The incentives for building up a nation must be greater and more compelling than breaking it down. The price of racial and cultural intolerance must be made prohibitively high.

Ladies and Gentlemen:

I believe fostering national unity is the responsibility of every Malaysian. However, schools, institutions of higher learning and sports centers have a very special role to play. This is because the sense of national unity is best inculcated in the young. Through textbooks, sports and interaction, educators should eliminate ethnic stereo-types. Through the imaginative teaching of the history of Islamic, Chinese and Indian civilisation, educators could foster greater understanding among different ethnic groups.

It is said that it takes a village to raise a child. I believe this is true. To me the village comprises three main institutions - family, school and community. From birth we should be taught to respect and honour each other's culture and heritage. Learning to interact with others is part of this process. Playing with children of other races on the play ground and in friends' homes, we learn to go beyond the colour lines early in life. In school we should be taught about other cultures and beliefs under the same roof as others of different ethnic groups - once again cutting through the colour lines.

Ladies and Gentlemen:

I am aware that there are many Malaysians who are deeply troubled at the state of national unity in this country. What I have tried to do today is disabuse you of the notion that there are any 'quick fix' solutions in nation building. If you look closely enough at any country, even ones that are regarded today as highly successful such as Japan, you will find there have been episodes in its past where events were very tenuous. I hope we will do our best to guard against cynicism and hopelessness. And I hope we will all stay the course. Failure, may I remind you all, is a costly option.

I wish all speakers, facilitators and participants a constructive and fulfilling day ahead.

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Hang in there Malaysia. There's still hope. There will always be.

Lucky in Love

I've got a roof that leaks,
A floor that squeaks,
A car that breaks down every two or three weeks,
But I'm lucky,
Lucky in LURRRRRRRRVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

*hugs picture of Jessica Alba*

Ok that's it. I'm officially declare myself a lunatic.

I was doing a bit of studying for my math paper, on the subject of Bayesian statistics, where it was concerning this function called a posterior distribution/density. Then I took a moment and contemplated the lunacy of what I'm studying. Posterior distribution? You mean like, Backside Distribution? Density? Buntut yang tumpat?

Two more weeks. Two more weeks and this lunacy will be over.

1 down, 2 to go.

Yeah baby yeah. 2 more papers left and I graduate.

If I look back hard enough, I'd realize that that paper was not too good but then I'm not looking back.

Mainly cause I watched Spiderman 3 right after that. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Thought the movie was pretty good, but it wasn't as good as I hoped it would be. I think the villains' character's weren't developed well enough, but hey, its still a good movie.

*hums spiderman tune*

Hopes

In a years time, I hope to be able to look back on this upcoming month and smile at it.

Cause at the moment, it's getting really desperate.