Monday, November 03, 2008

Rather than spamming your mailboxes....

I'll just post these here.


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

3 comments:

Enoch said...

Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe . His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted bravely admitting the truth :-

'I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell
a lie. I did cut it with my axe.'


This is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the question :-

PM Badawi -
I did not cut down the tree, I was just taking a nap underneath it.

Najib -
I swear that I have never MET that tree.

Hishamuddin-
... but I only own a keris, not axe, how to cut down the tree.

Dr.M -
Apa nama cherry tree, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak lah sleeping under it.

Chua Soi Lek -
Yes it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.

VK Lingam -
It could be me, it might have been me but I don't think it's me.

Anwar Ibrahim -
I DID NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA samples for you to plant on the axe handle.

Khir Toyo -
the new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.

Ahmad Said ( TerrenganuMB)-
I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.

Azalina Othman -
The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it down. Besides there were unauthorized signboards put up around the tree.

Shabery Cheek -
I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.

Samy Velu -
I chopped it because HINDRAF members were using it as a meeting point

Wira Ali Rustam -
We have planted Durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years, we do not need cheery trees, apple trees, pear trees and all these other foreign trees.

Rais Yatim -
You must see the bigger picture, Ahmad said cherry trees are expensive to maintain, Ali Rustan said that are against our national identity and I needed to test my new axe, so you see- it's a WIN-WIN situation all around.

Sharir Samad -
I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidize it.

Karpal Singh -
The bigfoot creature did it.

Bung Mokhtar -
The big monkey did it

Pandikar Amin Mulia -
There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees, Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk.sit down.

Khairy Jamaluddin -
I did not do it, neither did the mat rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree ?

Lim Kit Siang -
In response to Khairy - cherry tree also you don't know, you are an insult to Oxford .

Nazri Aziz -
racist, racist, racist, when we cut down durian trees nobody
made a fuss.

Malaysian Citizens -
oh for heaven's sake! Somebody plant something before we all starve to death.

Anonymous said...

WAKAKKAKAKAKAKAK!!!

...that was more for enoch's reply, btw. lolz!

daniel lee said...

yeah i know his comment super funny lah hehehe.