This morning I woke up with a sudden realisation that I've lost the will to live. Before any of you panic, I'm not going to commit suicide or anything morbid like that, rather, just simply, I've lost the will to live. To live life. Or maybe I never had it in the first place. In fact if you think hard about it, you probably feel the same way too.
Back when I was busy and overworked with courseworks, assignments and exams, screaming "Lord take me home!!!" everyday, I thought once the exams were over, the holidays came, life would be good. Life would be something to look foward to. Waking up on a monday morning wouldnt be a dread.
Now that I've been on holiday for quite some time, the so envisioned bliss isn't really happening. It's been a while since I woke up in the morning with a spring to my step, something to look foward to. If its not the dread of woke, then its the aimless wandering around with no direction.
And most of the time when I think I have purpose, it's because I busy myself with so many things that I don't have time to sit down and reflect what am I really doing with my life, things like work, social outings, church, hobbies, this and that.
Its like I've lost purpose. And a zest for life.
Something is not right here. Something is missing. Life isn't meant to be like this. There's definately more than this. Much more. Am I'm going to find it.
Maybe google knows =p
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16 comments:
i no exactly how you feel i left school 2 years ago and iv tryed my hardest to find work but no sutch look i feel my life is a wast ov time. i thing i might be a little depresed my mother dose my head in i feel like hiting her sometimes. all my friends are working earning a wage every week going out partying having a good time driving BUT NOT ME i need help
i too have lost the will to live. beautiful son, great job, several prospective men in my life, a wonderful family to back me up....but still, no will to live. everyday seems to be a burden. i find it harder and harder to smile or even feel motivated to anything fun.
work is not the point of life. I am experiencing a living death working in an office. Offices were designed on Factories, Factories were based on Prisons, Prisons on hell. Work is not progress, it is upholding and perpetuating a stagnant, empty, pointless society - which benefits only a very few at the top of it all.
We have lost out autonomous ways of life, and have become dependant on perpetuating our mass stupidity. We are chasing out tails like dogs.
And we look on at all this, in awe with the Spectacle of Society.
wow, third anonymous sounds as fatalistic as i feel. obviously despondent in despair. i have decided to go on a fast as see if that cures my physical & spiritual well being. I have become shallow in porpoise spit. I too detest the lie of working in a office for happiness. I have turned off the television & radios & began to listen to the sounds around me. I'm spending many hours outdoors & doing very little if zero housework. I'm not eating so I don't have to cook or buy groceries. I refuse to listen to any news whatsoever. I refuse to engage in useless chatter. I am freeing my inner being to experience life free of worry & clutter. I may become homeless, I don't know and I don't care. I was threatened with hospitalization by my family because I grieved so badly when my Father died. They said I was over-reacting and needed drugs. Am I? Just because I allow myself to feel real grief & don't medicate myself or run here & there and pretend my dad didn't die then I need meds? NO. I will grieve for my Father and I will reject this world and this society for taking away our humanity. I will not participate in this lie anymore. I am a child of God. No less than the trees and the stars. I have a right to be here and I have a right to live my life apart from the insanity. If I live, I live my way or no way. If you need to lock me up because I refuse to bow to your little gods then so be it but I'll starve myself and refuse to live in your fake world. My world is pure and true. If that makes me nuts then I don't want to be sane. You followers press your way into hell, I won't go. I'm going to enjoy the earth if I must be here and the day The Father takes me home will be a joyous day for me. greenpilgrim50@yahoo.com
Nice to see there are others out there that have lost the will to live. I feel I have nothing to live for, no family of my own, nothing really exciting to look forward to, and way too much negative atmosphere at home.
I can also say that I am not suicidial but if by a strange quirk of fate I came down with a serious illness I wonder if I would bother to fight to live, somehow, I doubt it.
It's a sad way to live, just waiting for the end and trying to put in the time in a way that makes me feel that I've done something useful.
haha your depressed i bet u all hate life and think it is crap haha and u ave lost the will to live lol haha
I too have lost the will to live and have become exhausted by life. I am not entertained by the nature of this world as I think that this actually is hell and as each day goes by I hate even more. I have lost hope as I do not believe that mankind will ever get it right. I applaud those who try though as they are inspirational. However, I no longer am the first to get out of bed and fling open the curtains to see what the day will bring. I think maybe the challenge of life has finally got me and I see no point in playing the game! I am not suicidal like many but pray every day that I will not wake from my sleep. I have had enough of people who quote THE Secret and say Snap out of it.....as far as Im concerned they can keep running into the lies of man!!!! I believe that since there are way too many people who feel the same way...somethings up! What is it that we all see together here? Maybe we see the truth and refuse to play the lies that have been fed to us from birth...maybe I did go to Hell as it certainly feels that way....
And here I am thinking I am alone. I live in NYC and the life here is driving me crazy even though I have grown up here most of my life. Zombies not human live here. No one has time for anyone. And everyone seems to be chasing the same thing: money, status. I am sick and tired of these things and this existence. I am always anxious and indifferent. Even sleeping doesn't help. I can't figure out if I am truly abnormal for being abnormal or normal for being abnormal because normalcy is a social construct pervaded by pure stupidity, lies and biases. But if my state is abnormal according to society, then I am happy to report I would rather not be normal.
Living in this messed up world is hard. I wish I would die in my sleep and finaly going home. I'm 41 and I see the old age comming and it will only gets harder. I try to stay upbeat about life and stay busy in this madness. I stay healthy, work out and I dont do drugs or booze.
I pray God everyday to keep the depression away...sometimes it works.
there is no will left, the world is ugly and the nature of life is parasitic. we are a disease, we have no right to assume we deserve anything, we are controlled by whims fashions and look to others for hope and aspiration, but we are all just as hopeless self centred and lost. there is no will, even the light is an ugly truth. lies and deceit are the makeup of a society thats only aim is to destroy itself. we listen to the media and think it portrays truth, we listen to politicians to think that they can guide us to a better future, there is no soul in the religions that has strayed from simple truth, there is no truth in a society thats own monetary system is the terrorism we need to fight, not those fighting for their truth which is different to our truth, hence truth is a lie and a sham. its all a lie. a deceit, to make us slaves. there is no will to live like this. we are humankind or humanbeing,we have lost our true spirit. our kindness and care is repaid by brutality and hurt. there is no will to live. we have taken our lives the moment we are born and become slaves,to a social virus. there is no will.
My husband once told me when someone has lost the will to live, as I have struggled with, its because of lack of purpose in ones life. To fill my lack, and yes I do love God, so its not that Im missing God, I started planning clown acts with my husband to perform to children in the hospital. Its a thought, find a purpose for your life worth waking up for. Something that gives your life a REAL purpose.
My dad died when I was 10
My step mom died when I was 12
My real mom has mental health issues and now lives abroad.
I have 11 step brother's and sisters who are all fake and an older step-brother who likes me.
I live with a random flat mate, paying bills like a grown-up when i'm just young myself.
I have such big dreams but little means of achieving them.
People always say i'm so beautiful but I only have ass-hole's interested in me.
I feel like i'm lost in this big world. but yet my only only wish is for some1 to love me. or even break my heart. but I just don;t want to dissolve into a life which is just about me. I want to have purpose. I want to give back. I want to wake up smiling and go to bed with a prayer. I think I need Jesus.
I see these comments has been wrote more than five years ago... wow... want to add something...I loose the will to live when I am away from my husband... I love him so much, and now I am away in another country for a while, and I lost the will to live.... miss him so much...
Interesting comments. I believe in God, love Him, hear from Him but am unsure of His path for me, what goals to make.
My start to life was hard, emotionally painful & perhaps I gave up hope too early. I'm trying to give that healing.
Was trying to find something meaningful to do with my time, not just what 'you should' but increase doing things what 'you want to do' as well... It's hard, you feel the pressure to conform, but I'm sick of it...
Have found little satisfaction in work, though you learn good stuff, it's not enjoyable. I do enjoy having fun and am trying to laugh more. Then again at the end of the day, we know how it ends and those moments while nice, don't last.
Like there's nothing to hold on to.
I'm gonna do some research and find out how others have found their way through this...
Bless others who are feeling this too. It can feel so empty. BJ
this life is a prison.... i just want out of it........
If I have not prepared then I must be prepared to adapt to all that this life throws at me....
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