Hymms and Choruses?

Stole this off my sis' blog...i think it hilarious...haha...

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Hymns and Choruses

An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.
"Well," said the farmer, "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns."
"Praise choruses," said his wife, "What are those?"
"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer.
"Well, what's the difference?" ask his wife.
The farmer said,"Well, it's like this - If i were to say to you:

'Martha, the cows are in the corn,'

well, that would be a hymn. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you:

Martha Martha, Martha, Oh, Martha, MARTHA MARTHA, the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the white cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, COWS, COWS are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, care in the corn, the CORN, CORN, CORN

then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well that would be a praise chorus."

As lucky would have it, the exact same Sunday a young, new Christian from the city church attended the small town church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. "Well," said the young man, "It was good. They did something different, however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs."
"Hymns," said his wife, "what are those?"
"Oh, they're okay. They're sort of like regular songs, only different,"said the young man.
"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.
The young man said,"Well it's likethis. If I were to say to you,

' Martha, the cows are in the corn,'

well, that would be a regular song. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you:

Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my vry.
Inclinesthine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn the righteous, inimitable, glorious truth.
For the way of the animals who can explain?
There in their headsin no shadow of sense.
Hearkenest they in God's sun ot his rain.
Unless from the mild, tempting cort they are fenced.
Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight,
Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minious of darkness and night.
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn have chewed.
So look to that bright shinning day by and by,
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn.
Where no vicious animals makes my soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn.


Then, if I were to do only verses one, three and four and do a key change on the last verse, well that would be a hymn."

Not too good

These past few days haven't been too good. Got hit by the flu bug again, of which made me realise that i fall sick on average once every 3 weeks. Which is not a good thing when u have plans made for the week ahead which have to all be cancelled because of some damned flu. And to make things worse, i woke up yesterday morning feeling as if my right eyelids had been glued together. Mumbling incoherent curses to myself as i climbed out of bed straight to the bathroom to spit phelgm and look at my eye. I mumbled another curse when i saw my eye. Conjunctivitis! BAH!

Feeling pissed off and decidedly feeling pissed for the rest of the day, I took a shower and headed of to the local clinic. Driving there and still muttering curses at my ill health and just plain rotten luck at getting sore eyes I took a wrong turn and headed to town instead of the clinic, of which I realised instantly, and yell out another curse. And from the corner of my eye I saw another motorist waiting at a red light on the opposite side of the road turn and look bewilderedly at me. Must be all the loud mouthed cursing, I thought as I made a U turn back in the right direction. For those who are surprised at all my cursing confessions, I'm a lot more verbally expressive when I'm alone and pissed at something. Try not to do it but it happens sometimes.

Reaching the clinic did put a lot of things into perspective for me. Sitting down waiting for my turn, you see people coming in for checkups for hypertension, a sick man with his three young children waiting for their turn and their mom nowhere to be seen, and old man slowly shuffling to his seat, a young boy waiting with his mom...the list goes on.

Which struck me when I compared the magnitude of my sorrows to theirs. Whats a little flu and a sore eyes. Plenty of discomfort and inconvenience of course, but no more than that. And I guess I went away from the clinic a better person than before, maybe not physically, but a little bit more grateful for what I have.

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*clears throat and wipe some snort of the nose with the pack of tissues beside me*


And last night before i slept i was thinking about how much of the holidays i had left. Slightly under a month. How time flies again. Soon it'll be time to go back to london again. Which then my thoughts strayed to all the stuff i had planned to do and what have i actually manage to do. Here's a little list:

• Plan 1 - Practice guitar 8 hours a day everyday for 4 months and play like Slash at the end of it. In truth, on a very good day I'd get down 5 hours of practice, and some days i didn't touch my guitar at all cos i was too busy saving Middle Earth or taking over Vice City. And I'm still stuck at that same spot for GNR's Sweet Child of Mine. A little bit closer though.
• Plan 2 - Sleep early, wake up early. Never happened.
• Plan 3 - Go swimming every day in the morning, do some other sports in the evening in the hope that i might build up some muscle. Went swimming for about 2 months, never did sports in the evening cos i was sleeping/killing orcs, and no muscles built. In fact am skinnier that before.
• Plan 4 - Go travelling around Malaysia, Kinabalu, Tioman, Penang and also visit Singapore. Got as far as Kinabalu and went bankrupt after that. Talk about money laundering.
• Plan 5 - Buy my younger brother a drum kit. Went broke as described above.
• Plan 6 - Read a number of books. Read one book, When Heaven is Silent by Rob Dunn. But that was about it though.
• Plan 7 - Spent about a month in Subang with friends. Been there for about 5 days only. Not entirely my fault though, circumstances have dictated otherwise. But it was one of the best times i had so far since I got back.
• Plan 8 - Recover my lost footballing skills. Kicked a ball about my lawn about twice I think.

Well I guess this just goes to show that life never goes as planned. Strive for idealism we can, but its all strife at the end I guess. At least for me. Bwahaha.

*cough cough cough cough*

Candid Moment

We were touring Luxembourg and Alvin volunteered to be navigator. Here we are in this moment staring at our hero looking up the map on the bus stop. As Alvin lead us on our way, Ding turned to me and said, " You know Daniel, knowing Alvin, we should've gone the opposite direction instead."

Well history charts for us that we indeed went the wrong way.

Revelation

A few months back I remember sitting in my room in london trying hard to play Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean". And as hard as i tried, i could never get the same tone or sound that was in the song during the solo part.

Today, while i was playing GTA Vice City and the in game's radio station Flash FM started playing that same song...half listening to it while driving around shooting innocent civilians a revelation dawned on me:

IT'S A BASS GUITAR SOLO!!!!

no wonder i could never get it right. blah!

*smashes head on wall repeatedly till blood oozes like the characters in happytreefriends*

die chelsea die!

Anyone (well maybe except chelsea fans) watching last night premiership opening match between chelsea and wigan would have felt sorrow and sadness for wigan. Hardwork, sheer desire and commitment, but it wasnt enough. Like how life is always unfair. Like how that monkey crespo(a very good monkey i must say) hit in a wonder goal in the last 30 secs of the match. And like how Wigan should have kept Camara on and maybe he would have scored that 2 golden chances they had and then the scoreline would be Wigan 2 Chelsea 0. Or maybe if Drogba just did us all a favour and kicked himself in the teeth ( and i know apu will support me on this). And as for the Arsenal-Newcastle match, yeah, poor Mr Jenas who got sent off didn't really deserve it either, but he could have broken someone's knee, and I'd would be really pissed if that had happened cos we dont have Vieira anymore. So PADAN MUKA! oh yeah, i'm an Arsenal fan btw...damn so fast talking crap again.

On to more depressing issues. The holidays is 3/4 gone. I only have 1 month left. 1 MONTH!!!?? *tee hee...yeah 1 month..big smiley grin* Anyways, sigh. How time flies. And I didnt get to do all I wanted to do throughout this hols. And also the realisation that this will be the 2nd last time i ever get such a holiday as long as this. Next year it would be the last, then that would be the end of my student life where I get to loaf the days away.

And the haze has finally left Melaka alone and make it's way up to north Malaysia, sorry Penang-lang. Well life aint fair, ain't it? But why is it still so bleeding hot in Melaka?? It's even hotter than concrete KL. Wierd. If Alvin lived in Melaka i'm sure he'd be able to give a pretty good suggestion why...but he doesnt.

I'm looking foward to going up to Subang again, one more time before I fly back to gloomy no sun no warmth London. Gotta get my pedals too. And meet all those wonderful ACTS people again.

HOT LAH HOT!!!!!!!!

another untitled

Frustrations,
Stacked over layers of ....

blah.
i'm too pissed to write.