i am scared

I am afraid. Truly I am.
My heart is gripped with fear like never before.

Never have i ever been in such a position before exams, the 1st paper is about a week away, and despite 3 weeks of studying 6 hours a day minimum, which subsequently went up to 10-12 hours in the last week, still render at the stage that if i were to take any paper now, I almost definately won't pass.

If only I have one more week. That would make a hell lot of difference.

But I don't. I am scared. My heart cannot deny the fear that grips me.

Fact is, humanly speaking, no matter how I prepare this last few days, there's no way I'm going to be able to scrape it this time. Knowing my abilites and my limitations, I know there's no way. And thoughts like this have been going through my mind even as I went to bed last night.

I woke up with the same thoughts this morning, but I was reminded of the song, which goes:

God will make a way,
When there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see,
He will make a way for me.
He will be my guide,
Hold me closely to His side.
With Love and Strength for each new day
He will make a way.

By a roadway in the wilderness,
He'll lead me.
And rivers in the desert will I see.
Heaven and earth shall fade,
But His Word will still remain,
He will do something new today.

His word will still remain. Times like these, when everything is beyond me, all I can do is hold on to the promises of God.

Psalm 25:1, 2, 15, 20

To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul.
O my God, I trust in You;
Let me not be ashamed...

My eyes are ever toward the LORD,
For He shall pluck my feet out of the net...

Keep my soul, and deliver me,
Let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You.

And this is the one that I want to be able to say with all my heart.

Psalm 27: 1, 3, 5, 7,9

The Lord is my light and salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?

Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,
In this I willbe confident.

For in the time of trouble,
He shall hide me in His pavillion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.

Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice!!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.

Psalm 28: 1, 2, 6, 7

To You I will cry, O Lord my Rock;
Do not be silent to me,
Lest, if You are silent to me,
I become like those who go down to the pit.
Hear the voice of my supplications
When I cry to You,
When I lift up my hands toward You holy sanctuary

Blessed be the LORD,
Because He has heard the voice of my supplications!
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart greatly rejoices
And with my song I will praise Him.

Psalm 27: 14

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

I will wait on You O my God. I need a miracle from You.