Pain is good. Pain tells you a lot of things, and teaches you a lot of things.
There are a few forms of them, physical, mental, emotional, so on and so forth.
I've been in quite a bit of physical pain recently, due to a certain 3 hour badminton session that I had last friday. It's monday now, but I still feel it's effects everytime I get up from a chair or lift my arm to scratch my back.
It tells me that:
Daniel, you're ridiculously unfit - the last time I did any running of sorts was way back in November.
Daniel, you're getting old - It's been an entire weekend and your body still hasn't recovered
Daniel, you need to start exercising more.
Another form of pain occurred over the weekend as well, when I was working on my Final Year Project. Due to some shortsightedness (i.e. lazy), I bungled up some stuff that I had been working on. Well I didn't really bungle it per say, just that I didn't take a sample large enough, and when I got the results they made no sense whatsoever and I had to REDO THE ENTIRE BLEEDING THING. *cough* Pardon me.
That, in short, was painful - you know it's painful when you're a rockstar wannabe but you've spend your entire saturday and sunday staring at Microsoft Excel.
Again it tells me:
Daniel, always think long term. Long term! Short term gratification - i.e. laziness - never pays!!!
Daniel, ALWAYS SAVE the work you're doing even when you're halfway through it.
Daniel, do things do properly. Or else have to do again. ( My dad has been trying to drill this point into me since I was 4. Now I'm going to be 23. Some people just have to learn the hard way.)
Daniel, get a life.
Pain lah pain i tell you. PAINFULLLLLLLLL!!!!
*ouch*
Monday, March 05, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Getting soft
I was scrolling through my blog posts and I realized a worrying progression in the matters that I blog about.
They're all getting quite emo, opening my deepest thoughts up, closing in on the very matter of my soul. OK lah maybe not so drama, but you get the point.
Weird thing is I never used to be like that. To be, err... vulnerable to others...esp on such a public place. Maybe its the insane amount of sappy mushy ballads that I've been feeding my system these days. This blog is getting unacceptably err *insert whatever word you think is right*.
So from now on all I'll blog about is nonsense stuff and the occasional Jessica Alba.
Jessicaaaa!!!
*melts in happiness*
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Odd&Ends
Once upon a time I used to (and nowadays occasionally, when I can summon enough willpower to move my bum) love taking pictures, studying other photographers work and see how they take good pictures, talk to others, experiment with different angles and perspectives in my quest to be a decent photographer.
Until my camera woke up one day and decided it won't ever wake up again. -_-
But a few days back, Zhi Xin, a junior of mine in uni whom I've become acquainted with not too long ago introduced me to his blog, Odds&Ends. People like these are the ones that inspire the "photographer" part of me.
Unfortunately, I still have no camera on me, except for my Sony Ericsson mobile which doesn't really work to well as a proper camera.
And more crucially, two untouched assignments due in this Friday, plus an FYP deadline in less than 3 weeks time.
Month of death, bring it on.
Until my camera woke up one day and decided it won't ever wake up again. -_-
But a few days back, Zhi Xin, a junior of mine in uni whom I've become acquainted with not too long ago introduced me to his blog, Odds&Ends. People like these are the ones that inspire the "photographer" part of me.
Unfortunately, I still have no camera on me, except for my Sony Ericsson mobile which doesn't really work to well as a proper camera.
And more crucially, two untouched assignments due in this Friday, plus an FYP deadline in less than 3 weeks time.
Month of death, bring it on.
--------------------------------------
Flu is getting better. Hurrah!!!!
And I'll be off tomorrow to Putney to watch this blues rock band called the Hamsters.
And I'll be off tomorrow to Putney to watch this blues rock band called the Hamsters.
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And as for the meaning of life thing, screw it. There's no fulfillment in this life. And there never will be.
[edit: after thinking through again, yes, there is fulfillment in this life (what was i thinking earlier? probably not thinking at all -_-), but that's a subject for another day =) ]
But nonetheless, while I still have breath in me, I'm gonna live it as well as I can. And look forward to the day when I'm called home from this endless striving.
p.s. To those who are interested in reading the (partially completed) series that I posted a few weeks back, its actually the book of Ecclesiastes from the Bible. The full book can be read here. Its worth the read.
[edit: after thinking through again, yes, there is fulfillment in this life (what was i thinking earlier? probably not thinking at all -_-), but that's a subject for another day =) ]
But nonetheless, while I still have breath in me, I'm gonna live it as well as I can. And look forward to the day when I'm called home from this endless striving.
p.s. To those who are interested in reading the (partially completed) series that I posted a few weeks back, its actually the book of Ecclesiastes from the Bible. The full book can be read here. Its worth the read.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Obligatory Valentines Day Post
My housemate just asked me with a cynical/sacarstic look, "So where are you going out to tonight?"
"Err. No where. Why?"
"Its Valentines Day! How can you stay at home?"
"Err. Oh. Why not?"
Well does it count if I love Eddie Van Halen and I'm dating him tonight -sort of- by looping the song Panama over and over again? ^ ^
Spent the afternoon chatting on skype with long lost brother for some time. 2 hours plus to be exact. Up to now, I'm still wondering what amount of rubbish we were talking about that lasted so long. And from that I "discovered" Eddie Van Halen's stuff today - which made me break my vow to do now shopping on amazon and ended up buying another CD.
BROKE LAH BROKE!!!!
And my flu won't leave me. *sniff sniff*
"Err. No where. Why?"
"Its Valentines Day! How can you stay at home?"
"Err. Oh. Why not?"
Well does it count if I love Eddie Van Halen and I'm dating him tonight -sort of- by looping the song Panama over and over again? ^ ^
Spent the afternoon chatting on skype with long lost brother for some time. 2 hours plus to be exact. Up to now, I'm still wondering what amount of rubbish we were talking about that lasted so long. And from that I "discovered" Eddie Van Halen's stuff today - which made me break my vow to do now shopping on amazon and ended up buying another CD.
BROKE LAH BROKE!!!!
And my flu won't leave me. *sniff sniff*
-----------------
On other fronts, I've snapped out of my-search-for-the-meaning-of-life phase, because I've found the answers I'm looking for =) Hurrah! -one weekend in the middle of nowhere does wonders.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
I now know...
That without God, there can be no meaning in life. I now know that deep down in my gut, and not just my head.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Toil is Meaningless
For an orderly and... blah u get the idea. Scroll down to the earlier posts.
So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labour under the sun. For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and great misfortune. What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labours under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.
A man can do nothing better that to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labour under the sun. For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and great misfortune. What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labours under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.
A man can do nothing better that to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Wisdom and Folly are Meaningless
Note: For an orderly and contextual reading, please refer to the first post in the series.
Then I turned my thoughts to consider wisdom,
and also madness and folly.
What more can the king's successor do
than what has already been done?
I saw that wisdom is better than folly,
just as light is better than darkness.
The wise man has eyes in his head,
while the fool walks in darkness;
but I came to realize
that the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I thought in my heart,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said in my heart,
"This too is meaningless."
For the wise man, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
In days to come both will be forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise man too must die!
Then I turned my thoughts to consider wisdom,
and also madness and folly.
What more can the king's successor do
than what has already been done?
I saw that wisdom is better than folly,
just as light is better than darkness.
The wise man has eyes in his head,
while the fool walks in darkness;
but I came to realize
that the same fate overtakes them both.
Then I thought in my heart,
"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said in my heart,
"This too is meaningless."
For the wise man, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
In days to come both will be forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise man too must die!
Pleasures Are Meaningless
Note: For an orderly and contextual reading, please begin from the first post.
I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good." But that also proved to be meaningless. "Laughter," I said, "is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?" I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly - my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was worthwhile for me to do under heaven during the few days of their lives.
I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well - the delights of the heart of man. I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.
I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labour.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.
I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good." But that also proved to be meaningless. "Laughter," I said, "is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?" I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly - my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was worthwhile for me to do under heaven during the few days of their lives.
I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well - the delights of the heart of man. I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.
I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labour.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Wisdom is Meaningless
Note: For an orderly and contextual reading, refer to the first post in the series.
I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
What is twisted cannot be straightened, what is lacking cannot be counted.
I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge." Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, but also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.
For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.
I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
What is twisted cannot be straightened, what is lacking cannot be counted.
I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge." Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, but also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.
For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.
Everything is Meaningless
The words of the Teacher, son of David, King in Jerusalem:
"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
What does a man gain from all his labour at which he toils under the sun?
Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south and turns to the north;
Round and round it goes, ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from, there they return again.
All things are worrisome, more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again, there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say "Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.
There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow.
"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
What does a man gain from all his labour at which he toils under the sun?
Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south and turns to the north;
Round and round it goes, ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from, there they return again.
All things are worrisome, more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again, there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say "Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.
There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
She's so happy
Staring at the sunVerse 1:
She's so happy
See the smile on her face
She's so happy
There's a spring in her step
She's so happy
Dancing in the rain
She's so happy
Chorus:
And I wanna be exactly just like her
Without a care or any worry in the world
Baby I don't know exactly what it takes
But all I want is to be happy
Verse 2:
Now I've been thinking about the meaning of life
Is happiness just a fleeting state of mind (mine?)
And what it means to really be alive
Is there an answer to which I can find?
Chorus:
Cause I wanna be exactly just like her
Without a care or any worry in the world
Baby I don't know exactly what it takes
But all I want is to be happy
Moral of the story. Don't think too much.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Die lah Die-episode 4
Translation: uHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!Episode 4
Hard Gay (above pic, and yes he's really called that. Go watch the links on the right if u haven't. Die laughing i tell you)
*cough*
Anyways, DIE LAH DIE tmr got life!
Life insurance that is.
But anyways GI yesterday was alright. I think. Or at least I came out of the exam hall feeling quite good about it. You know what they say, ignorance is bliss.
A strange thing happened yesterday while i was in the middle of the exam. I was writing furiously on my question, the sun was shining, and it was hot. Then i suddenly realized something wasn't right. The sun was on my left, but why is the heat coming from the right? I looked up wondering what it was... "HOLY MARANGONI...THANK YOU GOD FOR CREATION!!!"
The Ultimate Hotness™
My concentration diverted for a moment, hot babe radar went off the charts, but the GI paper gave me sock in the eye and I had to continue with the question.
Anyways because of that I made a mistake in the reinsurance question calculation. And will lose some marks for that -_-'' Talk about low blows. I'll get you back GI. You watch out.
Anyways, back to studying life insurance.
neeedd tooo deee..leeete gammeeee
*clicks publish and double clicks FM2007 icon*
Note: I stole a line from long lost brother in the above post. So sue me. =p
Monday, January 15, 2007
Die lah Die-episode 3
Episode 3
Tomorrow. Tomorrow begins THE week.
A week where, will decide the outcome of quite a number of things. A week that has been prepared for by a 1 month quarantine (well sort of, ignoring the numerous time i went out, and the time when i was at home but not studying, and the times.. well u get the idea)
But anyways. I've got a date with General Insurance tomorrow at 10am.
and oh btw, in case you haven't noticed, i broke my new yr resolution (its was bound to happen anyway) to not play computer games. Oh well.
GI HERE I COME!!! RAARRRRRRRR
*charges off into the sunset*
*charges back because the weather was cold*
*decides to stop crapping do some last minute cramming*
Tomorrow. Tomorrow begins THE week.
A week where, will decide the outcome of quite a number of things. A week that has been prepared for by a 1 month quarantine (well sort of, ignoring the numerous time i went out, and the time when i was at home but not studying, and the times.. well u get the idea)
But anyways. I've got a date with General Insurance tomorrow at 10am.
and oh btw, in case you haven't noticed, i broke my new yr resolution (its was bound to happen anyway) to not play computer games. Oh well.
GI HERE I COME!!! RAARRRRRRRR
*charges off into the sunset*
*charges back because the weather was cold*
*decides to stop crapping do some last minute cramming*
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Die lah Die-episode 2
Episode 2
Cue Scene: Just before trying a past year paper
"Legendary powers of memorization, I summon thee!!!"
*silence*
Eh no one answer.
*stares blankly at paper trying to recall facts*
Die lah die! How to remember all these things like that!!!
Cue Scene: Just before trying a past year paper
"Legendary powers of memorization, I summon thee!!!"
*silence*
Eh no one answer.
*stares blankly at paper trying to recall facts*
Die lah die! How to remember all these things like that!!!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Die lah Die-episode 1
Welcome to the "Die lah die" series!
Episode 1
Die lah die. I've just started playing Football Manager 2007 when my exams are on next monday. Err and i'm blogging some more when i would be better off studying. And not to mention that there is so much to remember.
Die lah die.
*arms extended in the air, body arched back, hips outward, at the top of the voice*
GI on monday!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Episode 1
Die lah die. I've just started playing Football Manager 2007 when my exams are on next monday. Err and i'm blogging some more when i would be better off studying. And not to mention that there is so much to remember.
Die lah die.
*arms extended in the air, body arched back, hips outward, at the top of the voice*
GI on monday!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Monday, January 08, 2007
HOLY COW!
Damn lah damn. Die lah die. I've been trying some past year papers and its a complete wipeout. Some of the answers are so implicitly implied that there's no way of knowing what they are. And best part is, THE ANSWERS TO THE PAST YEAR PAPERS ARE NOT RELEASED!!!
Why daniel why. Why you torture yourself by taking life & health insurance, general insurance and pensions at the same time. There are better ways to die.
On other matters (relatively), I somehow had my general insurance notes incorporated into my dream last night. Was errr... something about reinsurance i think.
I think my month of isolation is taking its toll on my sanity.
Why daniel why. Why you torture yourself by taking life & health insurance, general insurance and pensions at the same time. There are better ways to die.
On other matters (relatively), I somehow had my general insurance notes incorporated into my dream last night. Was errr... something about reinsurance i think.
I think my month of isolation is taking its toll on my sanity.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Quater life review
Well it's been a good 22 years, and as they say, chart your future through the past -they referring to my imagination or something i picked up from a ben stiller movie-
Now, having spent the last 2 1/2 years of my life learning about mortality rates, taking into account the current life expectancy of the average malaysian male (72.5 years) lifespan, advances in modern medicine, standard of living, health status, and barring any unforseen accidents which might cause sudden death-eg buying a gisbon les paul and starving to death after that- , i predict that i will live till the ripe old age of 88, hence the title for the post.
So here's some of the things that i always wanted to do/dreamt of:
1. Do something weird : Well i study actuarial science. Can't get weirder than that.
2. Keep long hair: *note picture above* done
3. Study overseas: London baby yeah!
4. Become a rock guitarist: Failed. Miserably.
5. Go back to sabah: Done. Went up kinabalu. And nearly died of food poisoning at the same time.
6. Buy myself an expensive guitar: Got 2. Hehe. And pedals too!!
7. Buy my dad a ferrari: Sorry pa, i was 4 years old when i made that promise =p
8. Watch an arsenal match at the stadium: Arsenal-Porto!!
9. Become Dictator...er i mean prime minister of Malaysia: errr thinking about it.
Apart from the above, I got to do a few other things as well that i didnt expect:
1. Tour Europe
2. Found a long lost brother.
3. Be a long lost brother.
4. Watch Tommy Emmanuel live in concert (And Steve Vai this april!!! YEAHH!)
5. Make a guitar recording of Eric Clapton's Layla unplugged that rival's William Hung's rendition of Ricky Martin's "She Bangs". (note to long lost brother: again, waiiii??)
6. Live in a ghetto - both in london and in Malaysia.
7. Scout Oxford Street for hot chicks..i mean shopping bargains.
So having achieved 6 out of the 9 items intended above, and a whole host of other random stuff, its time to move and, and of course set new 22 year plan. So here are some of the things that I hope to achieve when I'm 44.
1. Become dicta.. prime minister of malaysia: See now i'm making it no1 on the list.
2. Be able to play guitar good enough so that i don't cringe and die when i hear my own playing.
3. Play Tender Surrender. (and also layla, of course. heh :P)
4. Get married to lovely wife, have 3/4 kids, quit my actuarial science job and move back to melaka.
5. Become a teacher (if i fail to be pm of malaysia that is)
6. Become a rock star (if 1, 4 and 5 fails)
7. Not play anymore computer games/watch japanese anime (why do i even bother).
8. Buy a gibson les paul.
That's about it. I'll get back here when i'm 44 and see how things went. Till then.
*jiggle jiggle wobble*
Sunday, December 31, 2006
blog blog blog
Here's to one of those horrifically long posts.
All in a bunch of random notes.
2006 is almost gone, and soon 2007 will be here (or is already here, depending on which part of the world you are in and when you are reading this). Time flies so fast when you least expect it to, and soon i'll finish my degree and graduate. Can't wait for that day to come. In May. But in the meantime theres this small matter of 4 final papers in 2 weeks time. And 3 final papers in May. And a final year project to top it all up.
Study study study baby yeah!
Walawe 4 papers in 5 days is just too much.
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I been spending the last month (ie dec) using up my antisocial quota that was unfinished. Isolation from the world for a short period of time is good for you soul, i tell you. Not too long though. Although i did venture out occasionally to get supplies and that single christmas dinner, i've been pretty much living in quarantine. And doing a lot of thinking. Which often happens only when i'm depressed. And the depressing thing about this depression is that i don't know why i'm depressed. As a science/math trained student, the worst case scenario to solving a problem is not knowing what the problem is. But nonetheless i'll continue to search for the reason of this depression, and hopefully, while i'm at it, forget about this depression in the first place.
---------------------------------------------
Over my quarantine month i came to the realization about how fragile humans are. And how grievous knowledge can be. People nowadays glorify the human will so much, eg, "When there's a will, there's a way so they say." And if you don't make it you're classified as having a weak will. Weakling. Someone who cannot go far. Get out of my sight, u weakling! Let's place the strong willed guy on the pedestal instead and write books about his life and how they made it big. When in truth is, all of us are so prone to failure, our fears, so many things beyond our control, death, tragedy etc. You wake up in the morning and determine in your heart to not do this and not do that, and do this right etc, and by night you've gone against everything that you willed for in the morning. So much for the strength of the human will - though i'm not implying that we should go on living without a purpose or will and drift about aimlessly, just that we overglorify the "human will" element.
And i also realized that the more you know, the more you know you don't know, the more you are unable to do, the more things are beyond your control. The more you care, the more you are unable to care; etc. The list goes on. So comes the saying ignorance is bliss. But to be ignorant is to live like a fool. A happy fool maybe. But i consider ignorance an act of selfishness. Because you have to capacity to bring about changes for the better, but you choose to ignore it. But yet to know is to be grieved, and to fight a never ending battle that you will never win. Pretty bleak outlook on life huh?
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I just realized i've used up my "but" quota for 2007 in the last 2 sentences.
hmmm
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On to more trivial matters, I don't usually make new year resolutions, but nonetheless i did come up with a few when i was up last night lying on my bed at 3am fighting off the effects of caffein.
Anyways here are a few of them.
1. Swear off anime and computer games until i graduate.
Possibility of success: Confirm fail.
2. Learn every single song in GnR's Appetite for Destruction album.
Possibility of success: Achievable if i don't get bored of it.
In short, highly unlikely. 50% is good enough.
3. Get my biological clock back in order.
Possiblity of success: Must be done in order to wake up in time for exams.
4. Learn to sing and not sound like cinapek.
Possibility of success: Quite hard because i cannot tahan my own singing.
5. Play Steve Vai's "Tender Surrender"
Possibility of success: 0%. But still worth a shot.
6. Do some excercise. Nahhhh.
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You know you got some serious colour issues when your brown underwear comes out from the washing machine blue in colour.
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Hard Gay Ramen!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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I'm deciding whether or not to give this long hair thing one last try or to just cut it short. Decisions decisions.
Any suggestions???
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i received a friendster testimonial from Joannah the other day stating she heard my x-rated recording of Eric Clapton's Layla Unplugged. Why Enoch WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII????
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It's 230pm, new year's eve, and time to study.
Happy new year folks!!
All in a bunch of random notes.
2006 is almost gone, and soon 2007 will be here (or is already here, depending on which part of the world you are in and when you are reading this). Time flies so fast when you least expect it to, and soon i'll finish my degree and graduate. Can't wait for that day to come. In May. But in the meantime theres this small matter of 4 final papers in 2 weeks time. And 3 final papers in May. And a final year project to top it all up.
Study study study baby yeah!
Walawe 4 papers in 5 days is just too much.
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I been spending the last month (ie dec) using up my antisocial quota that was unfinished. Isolation from the world for a short period of time is good for you soul, i tell you. Not too long though. Although i did venture out occasionally to get supplies and that single christmas dinner, i've been pretty much living in quarantine. And doing a lot of thinking. Which often happens only when i'm depressed. And the depressing thing about this depression is that i don't know why i'm depressed. As a science/math trained student, the worst case scenario to solving a problem is not knowing what the problem is. But nonetheless i'll continue to search for the reason of this depression, and hopefully, while i'm at it, forget about this depression in the first place.
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Over my quarantine month i came to the realization about how fragile humans are. And how grievous knowledge can be. People nowadays glorify the human will so much, eg, "When there's a will, there's a way so they say." And if you don't make it you're classified as having a weak will. Weakling. Someone who cannot go far. Get out of my sight, u weakling! Let's place the strong willed guy on the pedestal instead and write books about his life and how they made it big. When in truth is, all of us are so prone to failure, our fears, so many things beyond our control, death, tragedy etc. You wake up in the morning and determine in your heart to not do this and not do that, and do this right etc, and by night you've gone against everything that you willed for in the morning. So much for the strength of the human will - though i'm not implying that we should go on living without a purpose or will and drift about aimlessly, just that we overglorify the "human will" element.
And i also realized that the more you know, the more you know you don't know, the more you are unable to do, the more things are beyond your control. The more you care, the more you are unable to care; etc. The list goes on. So comes the saying ignorance is bliss. But to be ignorant is to live like a fool. A happy fool maybe. But i consider ignorance an act of selfishness. Because you have to capacity to bring about changes for the better, but you choose to ignore it. But yet to know is to be grieved, and to fight a never ending battle that you will never win. Pretty bleak outlook on life huh?
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I just realized i've used up my "but" quota for 2007 in the last 2 sentences.
hmmm
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On to more trivial matters, I don't usually make new year resolutions, but nonetheless i did come up with a few when i was up last night lying on my bed at 3am fighting off the effects of caffein.
Anyways here are a few of them.
1. Swear off anime and computer games until i graduate.
Possibility of success: Confirm fail.
2. Learn every single song in GnR's Appetite for Destruction album.
Possibility of success: Achievable if i don't get bored of it.
In short, highly unlikely. 50% is good enough.
3. Get my biological clock back in order.
Possiblity of success: Must be done in order to wake up in time for exams.
4. Learn to sing and not sound like cinapek.
Possibility of success: Quite hard because i cannot tahan my own singing.
5. Play Steve Vai's "Tender Surrender"
Possibility of success: 0%. But still worth a shot.
6. Do some excercise. Nahhhh.
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You know you got some serious colour issues when your brown underwear comes out from the washing machine blue in colour.
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Hard Gay Ramen!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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I'm deciding whether or not to give this long hair thing one last try or to just cut it short. Decisions decisions.
Any suggestions???
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i received a friendster testimonial from Joannah the other day stating she heard my x-rated recording of Eric Clapton's Layla Unplugged. Why Enoch WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII????
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It's 230pm, new year's eve, and time to study.
Happy new year folks!!
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