Getting soft

I was scrolling through my blog posts and I realized a worrying progression in the matters that I blog about.

They're all getting quite emo, opening my deepest thoughts up, closing in on the very matter of my soul. OK lah maybe not so drama, but you get the point.

Weird thing is I never used to be like that. To be, err... vulnerable to others...esp on such a public place. Maybe its the insane amount of sappy mushy ballads that I've been feeding my system these days. This blog is getting unacceptably err *insert whatever word you think is right*.

So from now on all I'll blog about is nonsense stuff and the occasional Jessica Alba.

Jessicaaaa!!!

*melts in happiness*

*nosebleed*

Jessica Alba. Me *hearts* you.

Hmm. I think spring is here.

Odd&Ends

Once upon a time I used to (and nowadays occasionally, when I can summon enough willpower to move my bum) love taking pictures, studying other photographers work and see how they take good pictures, talk to others, experiment with different angles and perspectives in my quest to be a decent photographer.

Until my camera woke up one day and decided it won't ever wake up again. -_-

But a few days back, Zhi Xin, a junior of mine in uni whom I've become acquainted with not too long ago introduced me to his blog, Odds&Ends. People like these are the ones that inspire the "photographer" part of me.

Unfortunately, I still have no camera on me, except for my Sony Ericsson mobile which doesn't really work to well as a proper camera.

And more crucially, two untouched assignments due in this Friday, plus an FYP deadline in less than 3 weeks time.

Month of death, bring it on.

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Flu is getting better. Hurrah!!!!

And I'll be off tomorrow to Putney to watch this blues rock band called the Hamsters.

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And as for the meaning of life thing, screw it. There's no fulfillment in this life. And there never will be.

[edit: after thinking through again, yes, there is fulfillment in this life (what was i thinking earlier? probably not thinking at all -_-), but that's a subject for another day =) ]

But nonetheless, while I still have breath in me, I'm gonna live it as well as I can. And look forward to the day when I'm called home from this endless striving.

p.s. To those who are interested in reading the (partially completed) series that I posted a few weeks back, its actually the book of Ecclesiastes from the Bible. The full book can be read here. Its worth the read.

MC

Ughh. I is dying of flu.

*sniff*

Obligatory Valentines Day Post

My housemate just asked me with a cynical/sacarstic look, "So where are you going out to tonight?"

"Err. No where. Why?"

"Its Valentines Day! How can you stay at home?"

"Err. Oh. Why not?"

Well does it count if I love Eddie Van Halen and I'm dating him tonight -sort of- by looping the song Panama over and over again? ^ ^

Spent the afternoon chatting on skype with long lost brother for some time. 2 hours plus to be exact. Up to now, I'm still wondering what amount of rubbish we were talking about that lasted so long. And from that I "discovered" Eddie Van Halen's stuff today - which made me break my vow to do now shopping on amazon and ended up buying another CD.

BROKE LAH BROKE!!!!

And my flu won't leave me. *sniff sniff*

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On other fronts, I've snapped out of my-search-for-the-meaning-of-life phase, because I've found the answers I'm looking for =) Hurrah! -one weekend in the middle of nowhere does wonders.

I now know...

That without God, there can be no meaning in life. I now know that deep down in my gut, and not just my head.

Toil is Meaningless

For an orderly and... blah u get the idea. Scroll down to the earlier posts.

So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labour under the sun. For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and great misfortune. What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labours under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.
A man can do nothing better that to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Wisdom and Folly are Meaningless

Note: For an orderly and contextual reading, please refer to the first post in the series.

Then I turned my thoughts to consider wisdom,
and also madness and folly.
What more can the king's successor do
than what has already been done?
I saw that wisdom is better than folly,
just as light is better than darkness.
The wise man has eyes in his head,
while the fool walks in darkness;
but I came to realize
that the same fate overtakes them both.

Then I thought in my heart,

"The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?"
I said in my heart,
"This too is meaningless."
For the wise man, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
In days to come both will be forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise man too must die!

Pleasures Are Meaningless

Note: For an orderly and contextual reading, please begin from the first post.

I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good." But that also proved to be meaningless. "Laughter," I said, "is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?" I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly - my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was worthwhile for me to do under heaven during the few days of their lives.

I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well - the delights of the heart of man. I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.

I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labour.
Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.

Wisdom is Meaningless

Note: For an orderly and contextual reading, refer to the first post in the series.

I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

What is twisted cannot be straightened, what is lacking cannot be counted.

I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge." Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, but also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.

Everything is Meaningless

The words of the Teacher, son of David, King in Jerusalem:

"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."

What does a man gain from all his labour at which he toils under the sun?
Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south and turns to the north;
Round and round it goes, ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from, there they return again.
All things are worrisome, more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again, there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say "Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.
There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow.

She's so happy

Staring at the sun

A song i started a while back when i was in my one month quarantine and completed recently after having one too many glasses of wine. Anyways here it goes.

Verse 1:
She's so happy
See the smile on her face
She's so happy
There's a spring in her step
She's so happy
Dancing in the rain
She's so happy

Chorus:
And I wanna be exactly just like her
Without a care or any worry in the world
Baby I don't know exactly what it takes
But all I want is to be happy

Verse 2:
Now I've been thinking about the meaning of life
Is happiness just a fleeting state of mind (mine?)
And what it means to really be alive
Is there an answer to which I can find?


Chorus:
Cause I wanna be exactly just like her
Without a care or any worry in the world
Baby I don't know exactly what it takes
But all I want is to be happy

Moral of the story. Don't think too much.

Die lah Die-episode 4

Translation: uHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Episode 4

Hard Gay (above pic, and yes he's really called that. Go watch the links on the right if u haven't. Die laughing i tell you)

*cough*

Anyways, DIE LAH DIE tmr got life!

Life insurance that is.

But anyways GI yesterday was alright. I think. Or at least I came out of the exam hall feeling quite good about it. You know what they say, ignorance is bliss.

A strange thing happened yesterday while i was in the middle of the exam. I was writing furiously on my question, the sun was shining, and it was hot. Then i suddenly realized something wasn't right. The sun was on my left, but why is the heat coming from the right? I looked up wondering what it was... "HOLY MARANGONI...THANK YOU GOD FOR CREATION!!!"

The Ultimate Hotness™

My concentration diverted for a moment, hot babe radar went off the charts, but the GI paper gave me sock in the eye and I had to continue with the question.

Anyways because of that I made a mistake in the reinsurance question calculation. And will lose some marks for that -_-'' Talk about low blows. I'll get you back GI. You watch out.

Came home yesterday and instead of studying, went into a FM2007 six hour marathon. I tell you that game will be the death of me.

Anyways, back to studying life insurance.

neeedd tooo deee..leeete gammeeee

*clicks publish and double clicks FM2007 icon*

Note: I stole a line from long lost brother in the above post. So sue me. =p

Die lah Die-episode 3

Episode 3

Tomorrow. Tomorrow begins THE week.

A week where, will decide the outcome of quite a number of things. A week that has been prepared for by a 1 month quarantine (well sort of, ignoring the numerous time i went out, and the time when i was at home but not studying, and the times.. well u get the idea)

But anyways. I've got a date with General Insurance tomorrow at 10am.

and oh btw, in case you haven't noticed, i broke my new yr resolution (its was bound to happen anyway) to not play computer games. Oh well.

GI HERE I COME!!! RAARRRRRRRR

*charges off into the sunset*
*charges back because the weather was cold*
*decides to stop crapping do some last minute cramming*

Die lah Die-episode 2

Episode 2

Cue Scene: Just before trying a past year paper

"Legendary powers of memorization, I summon thee!!!"

*silence*

Eh no one answer.

*stares blankly at paper trying to recall facts*


Die lah die! How to remember all these things like that!!!

Die lah Die-episode 1

Welcome to the "Die lah die" series!

Episode 1
Die lah die. I've just started playing Football Manager 2007 when my exams are on next monday. Err and i'm blogging some more when i would be better off studying. And not to mention that there is so much to remember.

Die lah die.

*arms extended in the air, body arched back, hips outward, at the top of the voice*

GI on monday!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

HOLY COW!

Damn lah damn. Die lah die. I've been trying some past year papers and its a complete wipeout. Some of the answers are so implicitly implied that there's no way of knowing what they are. And best part is, THE ANSWERS TO THE PAST YEAR PAPERS ARE NOT RELEASED!!!

Why daniel why. Why you torture yourself by taking life & health insurance, general insurance and pensions at the same time. There are better ways to die.

On other matters (relatively), I somehow had my general insurance notes incorporated into my dream last night. Was errr... something about reinsurance i think.

I think my month of isolation is taking its toll on my sanity.

Quater life review

Well it's been a good 22 years, and as they say, chart your future through the past -they referring to my imagination or something i picked up from a ben stiller movie-

Now, having spent the last 2 1/2 years of my life learning about mortality rates, taking into account the current life expectancy of the average malaysian male (72.5 years) lifespan, advances in modern medicine, standard of living, health status, and barring any unforseen accidents which might cause sudden death-eg buying a gisbon les paul and starving to death after that- , i predict that i will live till the ripe old age of 88, hence the title for the post.

So here's some of the things that i always wanted to do/dreamt of:

1. Do something weird : Well i study actuarial science. Can't get weirder than that.
2. Keep long hair: *note picture above* done
3. Study overseas: London baby yeah!
4. Become a rock guitarist: Failed. Miserably.
5. Go back to sabah: Done. Went up kinabalu. And nearly died of food poisoning at the same time.
6. Buy myself an expensive guitar: Got 2. Hehe. And pedals too!!
7. Buy my dad a ferrari: Sorry pa, i was 4 years old when i made that promise =p
8. Watch an arsenal match at the stadium: Arsenal-Porto!!
9. Become Dictator...er i mean prime minister of Malaysia: errr thinking about it.

Apart from the above, I got to do a few other things as well that i didnt expect:
1. Tour Europe
2. Found a long lost brother.
3. Be a long lost brother.
4. Watch Tommy Emmanuel live in concert (And Steve Vai this april!!! YEAHH!)
5. Make a guitar recording of Eric Clapton's Layla unplugged that rival's William Hung's rendition of Ricky Martin's "She Bangs". (note to long lost brother: again, waiiii??)
6. Live in a ghetto - both in london and in Malaysia.
7. Scout Oxford Street for hot chicks..i mean shopping bargains.

So having achieved 6 out of the 9 items intended above, and a whole host of other random stuff, its time to move and, and of course set new 22 year plan. So here are some of the things that I hope to achieve when I'm 44.

1. Become dicta.. prime minister of malaysia: See now i'm making it no1 on the list.
2. Be able to play guitar good enough so that i don't cringe and die when i hear my own playing.
3. Play Tender Surrender. (and also layla, of course. heh :P)
4. Get married to lovely wife, have 3/4 kids, quit my actuarial science job and move back to melaka.
5. Become a teacher (if i fail to be pm of malaysia that is)
6. Become a rock star (if 1, 4 and 5 fails)
7. Not play anymore computer games/watch japanese anime (why do i even bother).
8. Buy a gibson les paul.

That's about it. I'll get back here when i'm 44 and see how things went. Till then.

*jiggle jiggle wobble*

blog blog blog

Here's to one of those horrifically long posts.

All in a bunch of random notes.


2006 is almost gone, and soon 2007 will be here (or is already here, depending on which part of the world you are in and when you are reading this). Time flies so fast when you least expect it to, and soon i'll finish my degree and graduate. Can't wait for that day to come. In May. But in the meantime theres this small matter of 4 final papers in 2 weeks time. And 3 final papers in May. And a final year project to top it all up.

Study study study baby yeah!

Walawe 4 papers in 5 days is just too much.

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I been spending the last month (ie dec) using up my antisocial quota that was unfinished. Isolation from the world for a short period of time is good for you soul, i tell you. Not too long though. Although i did venture out occasionally to get supplies and that single christmas dinner, i've been pretty much living in quarantine. And doing a lot of thinking. Which often happens only when i'm depressed. And the depressing thing about this depression is that i don't know why i'm depressed. As a science/math trained student, the worst case scenario to solving a problem is not knowing what the problem is. But nonetheless i'll continue to search for the reason of this depression, and hopefully, while i'm at it, forget about this depression in the first place.
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Over my quarantine month i came to the realization about how fragile humans are. And how grievous knowledge can be. People nowadays glorify the human will so much, eg, "When there's a will, there's a way so they say." And if you don't make it you're classified as having a weak will. Weakling. Someone who cannot go far. Get out of my sight, u weakling! Let's place the strong willed guy on the pedestal instead and write books about his life and how they made it big. When in truth is, all of us are so prone to failure, our fears, so many things beyond our control, death, tragedy etc. You wake up in the morning and determine in your heart to not do this and not do that, and do this right etc, and by night you've gone against everything that you willed for in the morning. So much for the strength of the human will - though i'm not implying that we should go on living without a purpose or will and drift about aimlessly, just that we overglorify the "human will" element.

And i also realized that the more you know, the more you know you don't know, the more you are unable to do, the more things are beyond your control. The more you care, the more you are unable to care; etc. The list goes on. So comes the saying ignorance is bliss. But to be ignorant is to live like a fool. A happy fool maybe. But i consider ignorance an act of selfishness. Because you have to capacity to bring about changes for the better, but you choose to ignore it. But yet to know is to be grieved, and to fight a never ending battle that you will never win. Pretty bleak outlook on life huh?
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I just realized i've used up my "but" quota for 2007 in the last 2 sentences.
hmmm
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On to more trivial matters, I don't usually make new year resolutions, but nonetheless i did come up with a few when i was up last night lying on my bed at 3am fighting off the effects of caffein.

Anyways here are a few of them.

1. Swear off anime and computer games until i graduate.
Possibility of success: Confirm fail.

2. Learn every single song in GnR's Appetite for Destruction album.
Possibility of success: Achievable if i don't get bored of it.
In short, highly unlikely. 50% is good enough.

3. Get my biological clock back in order.
Possiblity of success: Must be done in order to wake up in time for exams.

4. Learn to sing and not sound like cinapek.
Possibility of success: Quite hard because i cannot tahan my own singing.

5. Play Steve Vai's "Tender Surrender"
Possibility of success: 0%. But still worth a shot.

6. Do some excercise. Nahhhh.
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You know you got some serious colour issues when your brown underwear comes out from the washing machine blue in colour.
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Hard Gay Ramen!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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I'm deciding whether or not to give this long hair thing one last try or to just cut it short. Decisions decisions.
Any suggestions???
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i received a friendster testimonial from Joannah the other day stating she heard my x-rated recording of Eric Clapton's Layla Unplugged. Why Enoch WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII????
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It's 230pm, new year's eve, and time to study.

Happy new year folks!!

The day after...

After this morning's fiasco (see previous post) where i completely flipped out because of the rubbish amount of coursework that i had (note the past tense), i woke up this morning -after sleeping at 530am the night/morning before- deciding that i won't care about* the last question of general insurance coursework which concerns accounts of an insurance company (which i worked on for 3 hours but failed to get it right), i went off to town today with James to oogle -kids please note that the correct spelling is ogle- at guitars and forget the sorrows of the world.

*Don't care is subject to daniel's paranoia about a wrong coursework question affecting the final exam mark which ultimately be the deciding factor between and first class and second class honours. Dont care changes according to mood.


And after oogling at guitars for a good 1 hour in various guitar shops in london, we came upon this shop that i once entered (upon my quest on buying an electric guitar) and stepped out immediately because of the relatively unaffordable price tags on the guitars. But today the mission was to oogle and not buy, and plus i had james with me, so we went in and continued our oogling spree.

So anyways I was oogling at some guitar pedals in the cabinet when James comes up to me and says, "Hey dude I really try out some of the pedals here."

So we went up to this guy who was basically fiddling about with a guitar and spoke to him concerning the matter. So he asks, "What kind of stuff do you play? What kind of sound are you looking for?"

Now my dear buddy James coolly points at me and says, "Well my friend here is looking for a wah/distortion pedal, and he basically plays stuff from Gilbert and Vai."

Riighhhhhtttt. -_-""

He could have at least said "tried to play".

But anyways, thankfully he didn't ask me to play, and he proceeded to do a few demos on some different pedals. And I, fresh from a month of non-stop coursework packed action, found the joys of retail therapy all too easily.

So i blew my budget for 2007 and got myself this new toy.

Its the Metal Muffer!!!

I messed about with it when i got home, and found out that i could get my pathetic 15W hiwatt practice amp to sound like zakk wylde on overdrive. Come on baby yeah! Crank up the distortion!!!!!

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I recently realised that my brother has a natural talent for posing. Just compare the two photos below:

Me

My brother.

Like how the heck do you beat that. This one beats all the poser shots i've seen so far.

But anyways, i'm off to istanbul on monday for a holiday. Will be back on the 16th.

take a deep breath...

I am pissed. No really pissed. Like DAMN ASS PISSED!!! I AM SICK OF ALL THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENTS!! SICK OF WORKING UNTIL 4AM EVERY BLOODY NIGHT FOR THE PAST MONTH! SICK OF IT! YOU HEAR ME!!!??? YOU HEAR MEEE!!?!????

ahh.... pardon me. needed to let that out. neighbours dont like me screaming at the balcony at 230am. so i scream here. sorry if i hurt your ears :P

ok back to work.

somedays....

Woke up one day and saw irene online... so decided to give her a hearty hello daniel lee stlyle. This was the conversation then ensued:

mrdaniel says:
ireneeeeeeeeeeeeee

Ї®êи€ says:
Sorry, this is Irene's mom

mrdaniel says:
ohh my apoligies


ughh... sugguh memalukan. talk about blunders

Bestest Birthday Ever!

Today I am 22. And this post is dedicated to all the wonderful ppl who made it such a fantastic day.

Good morning!! You're 22 today!!

Woke up this morning feeling like... well the picture says it all. Half dead. Slept at 3am the night before, and was up chatting with friends from back home who were wishing me happy 22nd birthday. Woke up at 930 due to the sound of drilling in the apartments around mine. Decided it would be futile to go on sleeping.

Work baby work!

Life for the past few weeks had been work work work work work. And still is. Today however, I turned on "super lazy mode" and decided to do nothing. Well i tried to read up on my final year project (partly conscience pricking but mainly because its due the first draft is due this thursday...eeek!!), but then i covered a grand total of 2 pages in 4 hours and can't recall what I read about.

But anyways i digress.

Ended up watching the Steve Vai: Live in London Astoria DVD that James lent to me. When I watch guitar players like that i often ask myself why do I even bother to try playing.

So anyways, went off to uni after to meet Hafiz to get some anime from him *thanks hafiz!!!*.

And came back, tried to play some guitar but my fingers decided it didn't want to and ended up trying to read my FYP again before finally doing the sensible thing and watched Gundam Seed.

And later the guys came over for dinner to celebrate with me...
And they brought me presents too.
A U2 CD/DVD/Book plus a 10 pound bookshop gift voucher. Shopping at borders tomorrow! Hurrah!!!!

And we capped the day off by watching the new Bond movie Casino Royale. Ah that movie deserves a post by itself.


Hmm... I suddenly realised this post was supposed is meant to be dedicated to those who made it such a fantastic day and I've forgot to do that.

But anyways,

Thank you

Dad, mom, esther, matthew for the birthday ecard that you sent! My father super high tech. I also dunno how to send E card. I super bangga.

Joy, who called me up all the way from malaysia to wish me a happy be-early birthday. Miss you lots!!

Nick Chan, who despite all the hardship and trouble he goes through, sent an sms-wishing me happy birthday. hang in there bro, i'm praying with you.

Li Jin, who wished me happy birthday *although not counted because I had to tell you :P*

Sze Chuen, who stayed up all the way till midnight despite having to wake up at 6am this morning for work so that he could wish me happy birthday when the clock struck 12.

Eileen Tey, who specially got to uni at 8am in the morning in bali to use the internet connection so she could wish me happy birthday at midnight london time, even though i forgot her birthday despite being specifically reminded a few days before :P

Rachel Tan, who always remembers my birthday, although i never remember hers. *ehehe sorry ha*

Seok Huei and Chee Kean, Sandy, Stephanie, Hui Jun, albert ling (boi!-sorry didn't managed to get back to you in time, was watching gundam :P), who msn-ed me and wished me happy birthday!

Jay Loh, who wrote me a email wishing me happy birthday. Made me feel super terharu.

Chern Liang, my PG leader back home, who took the time to wish me happy birthday before rushing off to work.

Jack Ling, also my PG leader, who sent me the E card with some advice on how a surefire way of retrieving guitar picks that have fallen into the sound hole!

My brother Matthew, who sent me his own version of a E card in which I was supposed to pin the monkey's tail on its ass!

Irene, who gave the best E card ever with the dancing amah and dog!

Suzanna, who wished me happy birthday on my blog. Aiya... i didnt know you read my blog.

Joannah and Siang, who both wished me happy birthday on friendster =)

Pastor Sandra!!! Who took time out of all the important things that you have to attend to to write me an email to wish me happy birthday and find out how i'm doing. *super pastor!!* Sorry lah i didn't write back despite being in London for so long... hehe :P Come visit in march!!

Lesley Lim.. happy birthday to you as well!!

Aunty Lay Choo.... thank you aunty!! I belanja you makan when i get back. If you allow me to, that is ;)

Caryn and Apu aka AH, thanks for the birthday wishes! Apu sayang kau tak datang makan ngan kita orang. We missed the hunk. Caryn......aiyo the only girl in our group never come. All guys. where can?? :P

Jacky, Dennis.... for coming all the way to the ghetto to celebrate with me and belanja me makan despite your budget concerns. I truly appreciate it =)

Daniel Nee aka CB, for coming to celebrate with me. Come to whitechapel more often!!! And thanks for the gift voucher!

Chia Wei, Ding, and Alvin aka SB, for taking time out -esp ding and chia wei, from WoW..I mean your FI- to come over here and celebrate. Alvin and Ding for the U2 present! And Chia Wei for the gift voucher as well. London won't rock as much without you guys around. THANK YOU.

Thank You Jesus, for 22 wonderful years of life with You.




Today I am 22.

Run baby run

Dear Daniel,

With the ridiculous amount of courseworks that you have (made worse by unreasonable deadlines and more importantly, your idiocity in refusing to stop watching Gundam Seed- until 2am in the morning- and read up every form literature u can find except your textbooks), i hereby decree that if you do not start working your ass off now* you might not live to your 22nd birthday.

ermm. ok. maybe its time to start work.

*working your ass off - 8 hours of studying a day excluding classes. hence no sleep at night. and certainly no more gundam. only used in emergency situations - ie week 9 of term

BUT I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IN THE STOREEEYYYY!!!!

City CU Rocks The Blocks!

Many thanks to Li Jin who took the pic. Hence not in pic =p

Weeeeba weeeba yada blah.

Warning: Emo post

today i realized something about myself... i guess these songs somehow fit....

It's shame
That our paths should have crossed so young
Who's to blame
For the tears and the damage done

All I know
Is I can't forget the time we had
And I'm sorry if it turned out bad

Even though I want you
Even though I need you
Even though my heart is screaming
Still believing
We could fall in love

Even though I want you
Even though I need you
Even though we won't find better
We can't stay together

Tell me why
There were secrets you never told oh, no
It's a crime
The cliche of a love gone old

All I know
Is I've given all I can to you
And there's nothing more that I can do

Even though I want you
Even though I need you
Even though my heart is screaming
Still believing
We could fall in love

Even though I want you
Even though I need you
Even though we won't find better
We can't stay together

It's all right
Happiness only comes to few
But in time you may find it in someone new

At the same time, I'm pissed at myself for being such a self centered dumbass.

Now about those assignments....

SCREEAAAMMMM

beautiful no more

i just realized that the FYP topic i chose has consigned me to my doom.

*slaps self on head for choosing wrong topic*

Headlines

So google took over blogger too... hmmm

But anyways, a couple of headlines in the star online today made me laugh, for different reasons.

the first one:
Man suffers shock while trying to steal electric cables

Its pretty self explanatory. Padan muka!!

the second one:
Dr. Mahathir in good spirits after suffering heart attack.

Seems like post heart attack effects include good spirits =p Glad his happy. At least he'll stop complaining about the government.

Bah i have the flu again.

All we need is just a little patience.....

Sitting down here in my friends place in posh Angel, away from the ghetto neighbourhood oh Whitechapel, listening to the dramagods, waiting for my siew yoke (roast pork, chinese style) to be cooked, smelling a little busuk because of football in the evening, aching all over because i slept on the cold hard floor last night, pleased because I've finally completed two 2000 word essays, blogging because I don't want to start studying survival models till I get home and enjoy a nice decent hot shower.

Life is..... eventful. And exciting. And worth living for.

Somebody please please remind me to be careful when I say prayers like "God, teach me more patience" or "Grant me wisdom in dealing with difficult people" or "Teach me to love people as You love me." Jia lat. Can die. Triple death combo. Super duper ultimate GG. All we need is just a little patience.

But anyways, its been eventful. Life that is. My internet got cut off, for some odd reason (mainly because of some technical difficulties -the old contract expired- in applying and getting the new broadband done) and I'll only be connected online in late November. Like I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms here. But I did realize that not having internet increases my productivity by ridiculous amount ie I spent less time chatting, surfing about reading articles that hardly concern me, comics, online shopping, youtube, football etc... and I can concentrate better on the things I really need to do (ie study), and even if I'm distracted, I go to productive distractions (practice guitar). But it does suck when I need to use the internet to send out emails or gather information for research. Which is actually quite often. So which leads me to have to plan my time better and use the lab computers. Now thats what I call GG. Lab computers.

And on monday morning, while I was on my way to do groceries, smiling at my neighbours who were all celebrating the Hari Raya (I live in a predominantly muslim area) and wishing them well, i came down from my house, looked at my bike, and realised that some -explicit deleted- had stolen my bike seat. Like why man? Why steal my seat when my butt had got itself used to the seat, after enduring the pain its been given me in the in betweens and getting used to it, and they steal my seat.

Now often when my friends tell me their sorrows of similiar experiences, I'd usually try and comfort them and tell them its no big deal. Its ok. Its just a bike seat. At least they left the bike. Imagine if they'd took the bike and left the seat. etc etc Like yeah it's just a seat.

Man I WAS PISSED. If I was God -and thankfully i'm not- I'd have called down fire and brimstone and raze them to the ground. Them and their whole families. All generations. And extended relatives. Swift and harsh retribution.

Which of course led me to wonder why couldnt I just chill out and accept that it was just a seat. I eventually did I as sat down complaining to God over lunch that I dont want to call down fire and brimstone on them anymore, but would just like to get back my seat thank you very much. Well, I didnt get back my seat, but I eventually cooled off and cycled to the nearest junk store on my seatless bike to look for a seat. Managed to get a seat -which was probably stolen of someone elses bike as well- and now I carry my bike seat around whereever I go so that the same thing wont happen again. Pray that they don't steal a wheel next time. All we need is just a little patience....

And I went for the combined CU (christian union) event in All Souls church last thursday. It was really good. The message preached was powerful, and its steal, no i mean still in my head till today. Grace, preaching the message, enduring hardship like a good soldier, perseverance (and one more which I forgot whooops), it was such a timely reminder for the whole CU, and it really impacted me personally as a Christian.

On other matters, I went to watch Les Miserables last Tuesday. Its a musical, and the story is about a guy who was sentenced to jail for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. When his sentence was over, he was blah ... i'm too lazy to explain. Go read the book or watch the musical. But anyways i thoroughly enjoyed myself as it was quite good.

Tomorrow is thursday, and it just occured to me that week 5 is going to be over in a couple of days, and weeks 6 is looming. The courseworks are going to come in really soon, and my survivals models lecturer has this great idea of doing courseworks exams style online. -_-" Like i'm so doomed man. So doomed.

Anyways, I think the siew yoke is still not ready, but i shall go read some survival models now. Till when i next have to time and internet connection to blog.

Something smells fishy

Just read a report in today's Star newspaper that the Melaka state goverment wants to build a "110m high revolving tower".

I know it MIGHT be a great boost to tourism, but I think that our YAB should think about building more schools, giving more financial assistance to existing ones, improve the public transport system and stuff like that rather than build a revolving tower.

But then again the boost to tourism might create more jobs and help boost the local economy, which will have spillover effects (more jobs, more tourists, more jams and congestion) which could benefit the state as well. Its hard to argue against politicians, i mean, economics.

But then having already spend a few million on THAT stupid artificial waterfall, and another million on THAT 50m plasma screen, whats another few million of taxpayers money. Anyway, who remembers/notices you for building more schools and hospital and good public transport? You'll only be remembered if you build multi million dollar landmarks.

At least I'll get to stand on top of it with my durian cendol in hand and enjoy a panoramic view of Malacca. Anyone care to join me?

edit: OMG it's not a few million. its RM 21 million

Triple death combo

So it's confirmed.

I'm doing the triple death combination of electives called pensions, life (& health insurance) and GI (general insurance).

So now my life for the next 6 months will be between doing Pensions Coursework, Life Courseworks, GI courseworks, Survival Model Courseworks (notice the irony of the terms "life" and "survival") , SPMI (dont even ask) courseworks, the CU(christian union), and last but not least, my rock star plans. Oh yeah, how could I forget my Final Year Project.

TGIF - So i can start research on the projects -_-"

But nonetheless, the CU meeting was totally awesome. I mean like TOTALLY AWESOME. Simply because God was there. Such an honour to serve there.

*sighs with happiness*

And happy tang-lung festival kids. Make sure you set your lanterns on fire, and eat lots of mooncakes. Especially the tau sa ones. They're really good.

Defining...

Tired: me

BUT

Content: me

&

Joyful: me

Thank You, Lord. Thank You.

memories

Some photos I dug out from my comp, decided to upload them here, just for memories sake. In no particular order:George, my former housemate, valiantly attempting to blow up an inflatable mattress (the pump didn't work). He didn't succeed.

Today, outside my ghetto flats. I'm learning to appreciate of the works of the Creator.

Malacca Evangelical Free Church. Where I grew up in a loving family. Its been torn down to make way for a new church building =)

The Acts Church, the next closest thing to home.

Home sweet home.

Joel, Chern Zhi and Matthew. Eating nasi lemak with your buddies in church, there's nothing better than that.

Aunty Lay Choo and Lesley share a happy moment

The CF in St. David's High School today (well about 1 year ago). "Prayer Changes Things" says the words on the wall. I remember putting it up 5 years ago when we were in school. Some things don't change though.

A scenic scene in Universiti Malaysia Sabah, after our kinabalu trip.

Band of Brothers. We're all over the place now. Sigh.

Skiing in the frech alps, with dudes from cambridge.

Nothing more rewarding than the sight of sunrise when you're at the peak of Mt. Kinabalu.

Me and Wilbur making fun of John Boy at Laban Rata, halfway up Kinabalu.

Me invading somewhere in Trafalgar Square. Note the CCTV above the door.

The day we left for london. The whole 223y Subang gang with us at KLIA.
From left, Ian, Ernest, Me, Ding, Alvin, Kenneth, Jeremy, Marcus.

In Oxfordshire. Yuli charging across as we were taking a group picture.

Watching Arsenal Porto at the emirates stadium. An experience of a lifetime.

The lake district.

Me and alvin checking out the camera.

Getting a tan at the Collesseum in Rome.

Irene, Alvin and Carlyn having fun waiting for a DLR to come at the Canary Wharf station.

The turkey we tried to roast in the our first christmas here. It tasted weird.

Self portrait in Luxembourg.

Me, Ding and Alvin attempting a Happy Tree Friends pose in Bath.

Taking a picture with the legendary Tommy Emmanuel.

Memories.

Time to move on.

A picture paints a thousand words

Go figure.

Life is way too eventful

What a week. What a week man.

Let me say that again for extra emphasis. WHAT A WEEK!!!!!!!!!

Aaaanyways, classes started last monday. The first day was fine and good, cycling to uni, nearly getting run over by a truck (lies told to make the story more interesting).

And Tuesday came. Tuesday rocked my socks. And is still rocking. We had the fresher's fayre on that day for the Christian Union. So 845 i was at church with Toinpre carrying this 4 boxes of Gideons bibles. If I ever had a problem with bibles it was there and then. It was sooooo heavy (that even my 6"4' friend who can lift me up and throw me across the road with one arm
was suffering carrying it). Imagine me and my skinny ass dragging them all the way. No shit man. No shit. My arms told me that they did their quota of work for the week already.

But anyways back to tuesday, so we had a prayer in the stairwell, set up the stall, and OMG at the end of the day we had NEARLY 80 NAMES on the list. It was just such an amazing testimony for the both of us. Everything from the "strategic" position of the stall to the beautiful weather that day to all the people who just walked right up without us having to say anything, it was amazing. Incredibly amazing. But in between all that I had to go for a 3 hour class called survival models which was totally rape. The math that our professor threw at us was just mental. They were right in calling it survival models.

And when i got home that evening, i realized that i was coming down with the flu. But I had to soldier on. Like a man. Cause, OMGROFTLOLBBQ I had tickets to the Arsenal Porto Champions League match at the emirates stadium!!!

I've never been to a proper football match at the stadium before, so this was an exhilarating experience. When I got to the stadium my mouth was gaping wide open all the way till the game started. The WOW factor was just so there. The stadium was beautiful, the atmosphere was amazing, seeing the team i had supported (arsenal that is) for a decade in the flesh was totally out of this world. Never had I thought that one day I'd be siting in Arsenal's home stadium watching them play. And they won to make it a spendid night.

But then i came home. Sick with flu. Bleh.

Weds i went for my asset liability management class to see whether it was elective worth taking or not. The notes and all were very impressive, like the most complete and comprehensive indepth lecturer's notes i have ever seen, unfortunately i couldnt understand a single word the lecturer was saying due to his strong cypriot accent and soft voice. So it was a no go.

Thursday came and the flu got worse, and also 7 hours of lectures on that day. But later in the day we had our first CU meeting of the term, and it was amazing. Once again God's hand was evident there, loads of people came till we had to SHIFT rooms, and everybody felt at home, and the whole CU committee was very encouraged. Plus not to mention loads of people who said they couldn't make it for the first meeting but will be coming for future meetings. Praise GOD!!!

And after that on the way home i got caught in the rain -_-"

Anyways today the flu got worse, and my pensions class was very interesting, which leaves me in anawful dilemma on choosing what electives to take. I could go for the crazysuredienochanceofsurvival combination of Life Insurance, Pensions and General Insurance, or the more managable any combination of the two above plus a non actuarial science module. The whole problem is that I consider Life and GI pretty much "compulsory" electives (my personal opinion), but pensions is so interesting and i'll really enjoy learning it (for once - i think); but then if i take any combination of the two i dont know what othe module to take, or what module out of the three to drop for that matter.

Decisions decisions.

But the weekend is here, time to sort out some stuff, catch up on school work, practice some guitar, recover from the flu, and decide on my electives. TGIF!

When the going gets tough....

Alvin "SB" Choong showing his mettle

The tough get going, and the not so tough run away....RUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

*composes self*

Anyways, it's been a hectic 2 weeks here in London, preparing for the new term, finishing the anime series Full Metal Alchemist in 4 days on YouTube (and now starting on 11.7GB of Futurama), planning CU stuff, getting myself a new bike, sorting out the mess in my room, and fretting over the disappearing act of my Final Year Project (FYP) supervisor, which at the moment leaves my FYP topic proposal pending approval with 2 weeks left to the deadline and supervisor nowhere in sight, meeting up with different people, and finding out today that they have moved the elective that I wanted to take to the next term. BLARGHH!

So now I'm in this dilemma of not chaging my module and keeping it for the next term, but which will mean 99% chance of death in the finals at the end (comparatively if i had taken it in the this term it would be a 95% chance of death in January exams), or I can change to other modules which I am not really keen on/had done enough research on it to make an informed choice.

Cycling to Uni so far has been really good, it takes only 15-20 mins to get to uni. 15 mins if i cycle like there's no tomorrow and don't get stuck behind a bus. But anyways its cool as long as IT DOESNT RAIN. But so far no incidences of getting caught in rain yet la... =D

So now i might have to take Asset-Liability Management instead of Investments as a module. Bah. Dammit.

On the bright side, I got myself a ticket to watch the champions league match between Arsenal and Porto this tueday night at Ashburton Grove. Hurrah!! And the odd jobs i did in Uni yesterday earned me 52 pounds which effectively paid for my match ticket with 20 pounds to spare.

But this week will be crazy with term starting on monday, freshers fayre/football match on tuesday, sandwich making(don't ask)/cell group on weds, CU meeting on thursday, and hunting down the whereabouts of my supervisor the whole week. And also my ongoing rock star wannabe project which requires me to put in at least 2 hours of practice a day (doesn't really happen as you will notice).

So now the tough gets going. I'll just need to get tough. Time to do the laundry.

AND ARSENAL BEAT MAN U!!!!!

*ahem*

Stuff stuff stuff

Part of my final year project topic, together with some still-not-very-widely-used-in-the-process-of-implementation branch of math called Tail-VaR. Why la why I go and make life difficult for myself.

I got more new stuff when I came home recently, notably more CDs. I finally managed to get my hands on Tommy Emmanuel's Endless Road album (see pic) and also Paul Gilbert's latest guitar instrumental album, Get Out of My Yard.

My 2 new CDs =D

Anyways, the Endless Road album is an awesome album. Anybody who listens to music will definately enjoy it. It's really really really good. I mean really. Especially if you want some inspiration to keep you going on the guitar.

I was trying the song Angelina last night (see previous posts), and I realized my fingerpicking skills are no longer existent. It's gonna be a while even before I get past the intro of the song.

And then there was this Get Out of My Yard album. All I can say that it's quite...erm. Weird? There's some fantastic guitar work on it, no doubt, but then it's no something that mortals like me would ever be able to play in 10 lifetimes. Alright alright, maybe 20. But that's besides the point. Well basically the album is just crazy, and I realized that as much I like to think that my musical tastes have further evolved into a higher plane, I still struggle to sit down and listen to a full blown guitar album. Cannot tahan. But maybe over time though. I did find some new cool YouTube videos of Paul Gilbert's stuff and I think they are absolutely the best. (heh.. many will disagree on this) But anyway here's a link to the song Individually Twisted on the album Alligator Farm. So if you have time, a decent broadband connection, a good set of speakers, crank it up baby!!

OK now it's time to devise a plan to con the lecturer into being my supervisor. Gotta pretend I know some stuff. Off to work then!!

Bah final year projects. What a pain.

OMG ITS AMAZING!!!

My new toy that I just got a few days ago. Sony Ericsson K800i, equipped with a 3.2 MP camera and lots of other geeky stuff that I don't know how to use. No matter.

Couple of days back, I got back to my new house in London, and OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMOMG you wouldn't believe the sight that greeted me.

When I first walked in, the house smelled different. Felt different. But more importantly, LOOKED different. And this is what I saw.

My new hallway. Notice its clean. Like spanking clean. Momma you'd be proud. Your son ain't no ghetto boy anymore.

A new toilet! New seat. New tiles. More importantly, nice smell and clean.

More happiness to follow. A brand new bathroom!! Totally remade.

And a BRAND NEW KITCHEN. This is the greatest thing ever. Especially after the kitchen flooding fiasco which I will tell one day. Soon.

Another view of the kitchen. We got a new washing machine too!! And its clean!! It's so cool to have girls in the house. (And no alvin no matter how long your hair grows you can't become alvina)

Unfortunately, my room is in this sorry state. All because everybody's tumpang-ed luggage was left here. And is still here. Blah.. -_-""

Ahh my beautiful new house. Now to get the room done.

While passing the time by

I finally got some of the CDs that i wanted, and they are:

The best of Fourplay
Mr Big: Greatest Hits
The Very best of Tommy Emmanuel
Joe Satriani: Strange Beautiful Music

I persuaded my dad to pay upfront for me 1st (which we all know that the likelyhood of me paying back is..erm..small.) But i did agree to bring him to the clark shoe shop to have the shoe of his choice when he comes to london next year.

But anyway, I was on watching Tommy Emmanuel on YouTube today... It's just so inspiring. And as such, with my long term rock star plans in mind, I've decided to work on 2 songs for the year (as mentioned by my crazy jazz pianist long lost brother that i need to set tangible goals to help me improve, and yes i know my tempo needs major work too). And they are....

Tommy Emmanuel's - Angelina
Mr Big's - Addicted to that Rush

Its gonna be a long long year of practice -_-"

So i'm leaving...on a jet plane...

I was watching THE chelsea barcelona game from 2 seasons ago, yes THAT game where the barca defence decided they liked to take a nap and conceded 3 goals in the first 20 mins, and the where Ronaldinho scored THE goal...yes THAT goal which I unfortunately missed cause my sis came over and changed channels... -_-"

But anyways... my head tells me that i should go practice more guitar and not slack, but my body decided that it wanted to do something else... ok that came out wrong. But you get the idea. Heck no, don't get any ideas.

This morning i woke up with the sudden realisation that i need bicycle to get to uni. It'll cut travel time to uni by half. So i defiantely be cycling this year. I can wake up later...hooray! no more 45 mins walk. Now all I ned to do is find the most ghetto-pariah-looking bike possible so people will look at it, feel pity for me and give me money. But the whole point is so that they won't steal my bike. So wish me luck in my hunt for a second hand bike guys. And pray too the a lorry doesn't run me down on my way to Uni. That's not the way to go man. Abosolutely not.

But anyways, flight is on sunday, my stuff are all packed (i think), so its adious malaysia for the year, i'll see you again soon.

Losing the will to live

This morning I woke up with a sudden realisation that I've lost the will to live. Before any of you panic, I'm not going to commit suicide or anything morbid like that, rather, just simply, I've lost the will to live. To live life. Or maybe I never had it in the first place. In fact if you think hard about it, you probably feel the same way too.

Back when I was busy and overworked with courseworks, assignments and exams, screaming "Lord take me home!!!" everyday, I thought once the exams were over, the holidays came, life would be good. Life would be something to look foward to. Waking up on a monday morning wouldnt be a dread.

Now that I've been on holiday for quite some time, the so envisioned bliss isn't really happening. It's been a while since I woke up in the morning with a spring to my step, something to look foward to. If its not the dread of woke, then its the aimless wandering around with no direction.

And most of the time when I think I have purpose, it's because I busy myself with so many things that I don't have time to sit down and reflect what am I really doing with my life, things like work, social outings, church, hobbies, this and that.

Its like I've lost purpose. And a zest for life.

Something is not right here. Something is missing. Life isn't meant to be like this. There's definately more than this. Much more. Am I'm going to find it.

Maybe google knows =p